My tongue swept over the far back, top, left tooth where I felt a little gap. My heart raced. I knew something was wrong. I swept the tooth one more time with my tongue and sure enough, a piece of my filling was missing. Urg! There are two things in life that make me shudder. One is turbulence and the other is sitting in the dentist chair while an able bodied specialist drills away at my teeth.
I blame it on my childhood dentist who filled and extracted teeth by putting his foot on the arm of the chair and using all his might to get the job done. Perhaps a slight exaggeration, but not much. I recall him hitting nerves left and right, while I jumped and said, ‘uh’ until he quit.
God help me, I thought as I picked up the phone to make the appointment. I shared what happened and told her I needed to get in ASAP. “Please make sure I have the chair with nitrous oxide.” I pleaded.
You see, it’s the only way I go. In addition to the childhood dentist, I also had a dentist try to numb my mouth for hours and couldn’t get the job done. This was only ten years ago. He kept injecting and injecting until I was literally shaking and my heart was pounding out of my chest. I finally said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t have this done today. Something’s wrong with me. I never shake like this.”
I went home to my hubby and three kids. Ross took one look at me and knew something was wrong. After hearing my story, he told me to sit and relax because I was having a reaction to all the epinephrine the doctor had filled me with. Turns out, I could have had a heart attack from all the injections he gave me. What a nut. He even had another dentist come in and try. Meanwhile I was having a reaction and he never said a thing.
So now you know why I go for the nitrous oxide, head phones, the whole nine yards. While half in and half out of it, with the doctor stretching my mouth and drilling away, my mind drifted. I began reciting Bible verses, singing familiar hymns, reciting prayers and picturing my self on the beach with Ross, feeling the tingling sun on my skin and his hand in mine. These mind escapes have gotten me through many doctor appointments and anxious moments. I don’t know what I’d do without being able to recite, The Lord is my shepherd, Trust in the Lord, Our Father, Fear not, I walk before you, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, etc. These words are music to my ears when I am afraid.
I’m home. The numb feeling is beginning to wear off. All is right in my world again. Thank God!
What do you do when you are afraid?
16 Comments
Oh Dotsie, I hear ya! For me, it’s the surgeon, not the dentist! I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve been probed, biopsied, and even given the wrong diagnosis (not once but several times!). So when they say “biopsy,” I run for cover and dig out my relaxation tapes, “Chimes of Angels.” I used it for all six of my biopsy procedures before my real diagnosis of cancer. The nurse oncologist said, “You’ll never want to listen to that music again!” She was wrong!
HUGS!
Ah, good music. Great idea.
Connie, I have had several major surgeries and honestly, I don’t fret them like the dentist. For surgeries, I’m knocked out cold so I am clueless about what they do.
I listened to my Women of Faith CD in the car on the way this morning. It takes my mind to better places.
The dentist doesn’t bother me, but it’s hard on Richard. He has sensitive teeth and the cold water, the drill, the shots all hit him 100 times different and harder than me. He takes the gas and goes on a sweet ride while the dentist does his thing. One time I walked in on him and he was playing with all the dental tools, squirting water, etc. The guy was out of it, but having the time of his life. I think they gave him a little less the next time. : )
Physical things don’t scare me, but then, I haven’t had much to be frightened of yet. My own mishaps and my children’s I handle with relative calm. It’s the relational mishaps which strike fear in my heart, shaking me to the core of my being. Not the ordinary stuff, but potential relationship enders. Huge arguments, people overly angry with me.
I’ve learned, over time, to breathe deeply, to stop my mind from going numb (my natural response), and to ask God to help me to listen and respond, to give me the words to speak, and to help me be aware of what’s going on. To show me the truth in the situation, how much of it truly has to do with me. I’d just shut down otherwise. I literally have the adrenaline kick into full flight mode. I can proudly say that I no longer curl up under the bed in the fetal position.
Dotsie
I got scared just reading your post. I am deathly afraid of the dentist for the same reasons. I am even now having medical problems that started the day I had my last oral surgery. I really think they did something wrong but everyone thinks I am crazy. I have been reading up in the subject and am finding some interesting things. I usually pray before I go in and then tell the dentist that he better hurry before I chicken out. My fear is of suffocation. I can’t breathe when they are working in my mouth and I panic and choke.
Suz, I can totally relate to your hubby and the dentist chair. Poor guy. I hope he doesn’t have to go again for a long time. I’m guessing you’ll be visiting a new dentist since you recently moved. Fun, fun.
Flea, now that’s progress. I recall having similar feelings when my MIL and I had a misunderstanding. It was awful and I can’t say that it was ever truly resolved. Lots of misunderstanding there. Not fun!
Y’know, it was the MIL who evoked that exact response in me. Also, it was never resolved. It was always my job to apologize for my behavior and attitude. Eventually, using the techniques above, I learned to listen better, to discern some of the real issues, when fear wasn’t clouding my thoughts and emotions. God used her, I think, to draw me to Him when I am fearful, and to strengthen me and my resolve in conflict.
Sadly, I no longer have a relationship with the MIL. My strength and resolve, even tho I was quiet about it, were more than she could handle.
Oh my. Sorry to hear that. Do they have nitrous oxide? If so, you should recommend it. It makes you not care very much about what they are doing. It may help you. I hope everything that has been done is okay. Good luck.
Wow, sounds way too familiar. I even went to her therapist with her (upon her request) and when I learned I had to treat her more gently than others, I did. And then I was accused of not acting myself around her and not treating her the way I treated friends and other family members. All very sad and too hurtful to write more about. Yuk… I pray for your strength.
God sure has a sense of humor, doesn’t He? I lost a crown (or maybe it’s a cap, I can’t tell the difference) just last night. I foolishly ate a hard caramel candy and thought it was a nut or something in the candy and tossed the piece away only to find my tooth totally missing. YIKES! Managed to fish it out of the trash, not an attractive site let me tell you! I’m here in Texas with no dentist, looking for a referral. Your story on fear, trembling, gas, and trusting God has sure helped!
Dorsie, I think our MILs were twins separated at birth. And I understand. All done.
I can’t believe I typed Dorsie. Sorry Dotsie. The r and t are very close.
Flea, it sure sounds like it. I feel your pain.
Allison, gracious Now our teeth are falling apart. Good luck finding someone. Always ask if they have nitrous oxide before scheduling.
I’m with you Dotsie, I hate going to the dentist!