My cell phone rang on Thursday afternoon; it was my youngest son coming home from college for a four-day mini-break. “Mom, I’m on 283 and should be home in about 30 minutes—do you think you could cut my hair tonight?”
I looked around the office and laughed, “Oh sure, honey, why not?” There were Weekend of Hope brochures scattered about my desk, stacks of unopened mail, and a full Inbox—waiting for responses. But it’s all about priorities—right?
I’ve been in the business of cutting hair since our “boys” were old enough to wiggle “out” of the high chair and just long enough for me to snip that first lock and place it in their baby book. What began as a way to save money on a squeaky-tight budget later became a way for me to connect with our growing sons.
The toddler stage was the most challenging—how to keep them distracted long enough to make the struggle worthwhile? While strapped to their booster seats with enough toys on the table to keep an army of toddlers busy for hours, I went to work—carefully trying to keep them still so no disasters ensued. With a pair of kitchen scissors, my first attempts were less than skillful: there was the festive “bowl” cut and the much-admired “terraced” look—all of which grew out nicely!
Grade school became a little trickier: they started hiding when I mentioned the word “haircut.” There were moans and groans with the words, “Not now, Mom, next week!” But I knew next week would never arrive, so a reward system was set in place (usually a trip to the video store was sufficient).
The junior high and high school years could have been a chapter out of the novel, War and Peace. A snip of the scissors could mean delight or disaster; rejection or a date for the prom. The pressure was on! I seriously thought about hanging up my scissors for good, but I persevered. My boys actually sat still—afraid to move—for fear I would create one of my social hair “nightmares.” During those rare moments of peace, they shared things with me that I never knew: their fears, their dreams, who they liked at school, and what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Our “boys” are now grown. Jeremy—the oldest—is a high school World Cultures teacher, and Jon attends Grove City College. They both lead busy lives and we don’t see them as often as we would like. But when the phone rings or the door cracks open and I hear the familiar words, “Mom, can I get a haircut?” I stop. Because now—more than ever—I realize, it’s just one more opportunity for this empty-nester mom to connect with her sons.
Staying Connected,
Connie
47 Comments
Loved that picture of you with the boys!! And how handsome they are today!! Oh…to be younger…
As far as hair is concerned…at least you didn’t have your boys cutting each other’s hair…I guess it’s girls that get into doing that…which our daughter did…her brother’s!
Now she comes and cuts her father’s hair…How things change…jeanne
Jeanne,
You made me gulp hard when you said your daughter cuts her father’s hair. That’s so sweet (I’d love to have a picture of that!). Does that mean that Jer and Jon are going to cut mine? Oh my! ~Connie
Hi ya Connie girl~
How cute your boys were! They still are!
Both my sisters cut their kids hair. For some reason this artistic talent never rubbed off on me! This past summer I figured I give it one more try when my fifteen-year-old son wanted a “buzz”. I thought, “How hard can this be?” I whipped out the buzzer thingy I bought several years ago and proceeded to make him look like a plucked chicken! Needless to say we made a bee-line to the barber shop.
One way I connect with my teen is by playing raquetball. It is our fun time, our time to talk between swigs on the water bottle. As for my five-year-old? Fun time is whenever the mood hits. I’ll often stop my work to toss a football. This afternoon, it’s sledding!
Thanks for sharing sweet memories that have blossomed into precious moments between a mother and her children!
Oh my Adventuresome One,
Mark did the rock climbing, the snowboarding, and the skiing, so I had to find some other avenue to “connect.” I did, however, make my share of blunders; Jon was a lot more forgiving than Jer. But finally, I checked a book out of the library and figured out all my mistakes, then Jer and Jon’s friends wanted me to cut their hair too! Politely, I declined. Now Mark–he’s easy–just use a “Bic” on that guy! You have fun playing in the snow! ~ Connie
Ah-Ha!
You just had to…didn’t you??!!
I’m having flash-backs!
I’ll never forget when Jer moved while I was cutting his “bangs,” and then I had to even them up–hilarious! I’ll have to find that picture. But the great thing about boys–they love their mom no matter what. Now, I get hugs and kisses when I cut their hair! “Mom, that’s the best haircut you ever gave me.” And to think . . . it only took 25 years of practice?!?!?! ~Connie
Hey Connie,
My mom used to cut my hair too. I had a few of those elementary school pictures with the crooked bangs!
Love you my creative sister… keep on loving those boys!
Susan,
I love your blogsite: http://www.livingtheadventurouslife.blogspot.com/
It looks like life is an amazing adventure and you’re enjoying the ride! Lots of great pictures and great food for thought.
~Connie
P.S. Aren’t we glad hair grows back (although it didn’t quite happen like that for my husband!).
Connie - you are too funny! My Jim has the same issue as far as hair. I think he would look cute if he did what your hubby does for a “do”. I love my Jim’s head though. Full of good thoughts… detailed thoughts, even w/o the hair! Now I have a ton of hair, but as for those thoughts, I just plow right through and say, “Let’s get up and go! No time to waste.” I guess we make a good combo and kind of balance each other out. I always say, “Hon, my hair is so thick I have enough for both of us.” Besides, I’m growing it again… Yikes! Expensive hair salon trips for coloring those grays away! Enough rambling for now.
P.S. Thanks for the kind words on my blog:) I’m loving it. It’s so fun pushing buttons and making a little home on the web:)
I’m loving your posts on boomers!
Comment from Reta
Time: 7:30 March 7
Connie, How nice to have those precious memories and the pictures to go with them. Sometimes necessity creates special experiences that would not otherwise happen. Anybody can go to the barber shop. The pictures were great. Handsome boys as little ones and even more handsome as adults!!!!!!!!!
Reta,
Yes, boys are great–they sure love their mamma! This afternoon I actually got out that lock of hair pressed between pieces of plastic wrap (a perfect curl). Jon’s hair has a natural wave to it and it’s so fun to cut. Jer’s is like mine, thick and straight. Two different personalities, two types of hair, two blessings to my heart. Thanks for stopping by! ~Connie
This story sure brought back memories! My son has a most vivid memory of the time I cut the front of his hair too short and he refused to go outside without a paperbag over his head. He was five or so, I think. Somewhere in my photo collection is a picture of him peering out from two eye-hole cuts in a brown paper sack. How I long for those days when he had hair…he’s been a bald skin-head for many years now. Sigh. I’ve been sighing a lot these days as I’m working on a pretty powerful non-fiction book for parents that has me reliving a lot of memories - not all of them good. That said, thanks for the joy you brought in sharing this message today. You made me smile…you made a lot of us smile, I’m sure.
Yep! My boys can tell you stories of my experimentation (that’s what it was too!). I know as long as they have hair (smile!), I will be needed. Oh, and the day I hand over the “scissors” to their bride (I will cry!). I have it all planned (it will be a shower gift and no one will know the meaning behind it–except my precious boomer sisters!). Sigh!
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[…] Jon—our youngest—came home from Pittsburgh for a haircut (see previous post—March 7, 2007), and is now off with his girlfriend’s family in Ocean City, Maryland for a week. […]