Darrin was introduced to porn by a youth pastor, and later became addicted. He also lived in a home that was complex–religious to everyone on the outside world, but physically and emotionally abusive behind closed doors.
Faith was all mixed up for Darrin.
I was leading a college ministry when I met Darrin. I sensed that something was desperately wrong, but I didn’t know the details.
When we received the call that Darrin had tried to commit suicide, it wasn’t surprising, but I was broken by the sight I saw in the ICU. I’ll never forget it.
Afterward, he was given two choices. One, to be released to a state psychiatric hospital. The other, to live with a guardian until he was declared “well”.
After a lot of discussion, and constructing strict boundaries, we asked if he would come stay with us, and he did. It was amazing to watch Darrin flourish over the next several months. He grew into the man we knew he could be. He met with a pastor once a week. He opened up about his past for the first time.
He was accountable to us and his counselor. There were tangible steps designed to help him overcome the past. The beginning was rocky. He had made a lot of choices while he lived on his own. Consequences demanded restitution. He worked hard and one by one those debts were paid.
That was a long time ago. He no longer resembles the troubled young man we once knew. Darrin’s story is powerful, but it is the years since that story that speaks volumes.
He’s a man now. Thirty-one years old. A father to three young beautiful children. A loving and dedicated husband. A man who is trying to minister to parents, educating them on how to talk with their teens about the addicting nature of pornography, leading a small cell group for parents every Thursday, blogging about this topic, and doing all that he can to encourage parents to keep an open door of communication–something he says could have saved him when his youth pastor opened the door to pornography, and later when he realized he was addicted.
I got to hear him speak last night. I listened as he shared about destiny. He was joy-filled, enthused. Sarah sat quietly beside him, her hand resting on his knee.
I started wiping away tears. You see, I had a discouraging day yesterday. It’s not important why, or to share the details, but I was questioning my career, my ministry. I had written an e-mail to someone I trusted, saying “the girl with the big smile is discouraged, discouraged, discouraged.”
And I was.
But every word that Darrin spoke last night ministered to my discouraged heart. As if God had whispered the events of my day in his ear.
“I know the plans I have for you,” he said, quoting scripture.
“Trust God. Trust that He sees you. That he knows how you feel, but that his plans are bigger than your feelings.”
“He cares. He sees.”
And somehow it all came around. The young man I once encouraged stood before me as a man, his life a testimony to what God can do. And he encouraged me.
So today, I just want to say: Thank you, D. The Eller family loves you.
Suz
15 Comments
Suzie,
Wow! WOW oh WOW!
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this! Thank you for what you did in this young man’s life. As you know, my husband and I tried to help a young woman and now we are raising HER child. There was little to no hope left for her mother tho sometimes I see glimmers of it still. Your story reminds me of God’s purposes for the little ones. He abhors those who would abuse them and lead them down dark paths. They will have a lot to answer for one day. But you, my friend, will receive another jewel in a crown I have no doubt is totally encrusted right now. You’ve already seen it sparkle and shine in the SonLight; you saw it last night as you listened to your boy/man speak. Still, you will wear the jewel in the crown but only for a moment. I know you well. You will readily take it off and lay it at the feet of your Beloved and whisper and cry out, “Because of You! Because of You!”
I love you!
Eva Marie
Suz,
what a compelling story, and as usual, you wrote it so beautifully and powerfully.
I’m praying for you. Let 2 Corin. 4:7-10 minister to you!
Thank you, Keri and Eva. It really is about Darrin and God’s power, but what I loved last night is that I went to the meeting, knowing I would be blessed to hear Darrin speak, but blown away that God used him to talk directly to a need I had told no one.
Don’t we serve such an awesome and mighty God? Beautiful story, Suzie. Thank you for sharing.
Oh wow, Suzie. I needed a good cry.
Change some details and this was my husband’s story, to a degree. He was too afraid to try suicide. He married me instead. God has worked things out in his life in a different way. But the end results … I’m so grateful. And so glad you were obedient and gracious in listening and taking D in. What an awesome God we call Friend.
Darin’s story, your sacrificial and compassionate decision and most of all God’s work in Darin’s life and how He used Darin to bless and inspire your discouraged heart - all touch my own heart this busy Saturday morning.
Never, never, never in all of our lives will we ever be able to fathom the mercies of our God.
Praise and glory to His name, forever and ever, amen.
I wish you could meet D and his family. He is such a good man. His daughter, Abi (named for a Father’s love) is delightful. Little Caleb and Jaxon are sweet boys, and Sarah. . . she’s a gift. Darrin will always be like a son to us, and he has given us far more than we have ever given him. He’s a joy. : )
Thank me? Do you know how much you have blessed Sarah and me? Forget the fact that we wouldn’t be married with the three most beautiful kids in the world had it not been for “Mama Suzie” telling me how awesome this girl named Sarah was. Living with you and Richard showed me how to love unconditionally, to discipline my kids because I love them, not punish them because I’m angry and how to have a peaceful home (definitely not quiet with three kids under five years old, but there is peace). I know somebody else already said this but you only get out what you put in and all I can say is it’s about time!
We love you guys so much!
Suzie and Darrin, thanks so much for sharing how God is working in your lives. It encourages us all.
Continued blessings to both of your families. In His Love, Ginger
Hi Ginger, Thanks for stopping by BBR. Hey D, it was nice to see you and Sarah on Sunday. : ) And to all of you who visit this blog, I hope that D’s story is evidence of what God can do. . .
Oh my, I sooo needed to read this today. Thanks for the encouragement.
So who’s the new blogger? I’m insanely curious!
So am I, Flea. : )
Suzie, you’re an amazing woman. I admire you so! Never doubt that God is using you His purpose, especially in the lives of youth.
I am so grateful you went to her him speak and that it was in your giving that you received.
BLESS YOU and bless him for sharing his story - one that needs to be heard by all generations.
What a wonderful story. Reminds me of the song “Thank you.”
What an encouragement to those who are still caught up in that life and those who would reach out and help.
Thanks for sharing.