Yesterday, I did something I haven’t done in 32 years…
I bought an eyelash curler. There was nothing wrong with my old one—I just thought it was time!
Having been born with “stubbies” (DNA- challenged lashes), I’ve learned a few tricks along the way. After a few big scoops of Maybelline Great Lash, I layer the front and back of the top lashes, let it set just a bit, add another dollop of mascara, and then I’m ready for the curler. Are you with me so far?
I got out my new eyelash curler and crunched down really hard!
Ouch, that smarts, I thought.
So I pressed down just a teensy bit harder (thinking it was a technical difficulty!).
Tears squeezed out of the corner of my eye as mascara trickled down my cheeks. I tried to release the “trigger,” but I was locked in.
“Help, get me out of here!” I screamed.
No one was home except Bianca—our Siamese kitten—and she just turned her head away.
Well, as it turns out, I got a whole lot more in the curler than my lashes! I didn’t have my glasses on and I couldn’t get close enough to the mirror (shoulder problem), to see what I was doing (a boomer thing), and my eyelid got stuck in the new and improved eyelash curler.
When I finally freed myself, my stubby lashes were limp and my lid was swollen. No need for Botox (the wrinkles are completely gone!). I didn’t even need eye shadow; a perfect shade of “bruised violet” covered my upper lid—matching my new summer outfit!
After all these years, I realized my mom was right: “You really do have to suffer to be beautiful!”
P.S. For more summer fun and boomer babe beauty tips, be sure to check back often.
19 Comments
Oh Connie, how do you say Ouahuahow!!!!! online? My mouth hung open the entire time reading your post. Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!
You silly, silly, boomer girl! I hope you’re all right! I didn’t know they sold those eye curler thingys any more. I think I’ll stick to plain old mascara, thank you.
Well, it’s just about 8am here in PA. I’m off to the park to rollerblade before it gets too hot. This almost boomer gal has got to get her aching body in gear!
Have a great day and oh…….. your poor eye!
Oh Susan,
That’s because you don’t have DNA-challenged lashes (you won’t ever need one of those contraptions!). I’m so glad God made us all so completely differently (where would the stories be otherwise?).
Hey, take care on those rollerblades you adventuresome one!
Hugs,
Connie
Connie,
All I can say is OUCH! That sounds painful! I think we might be related. Sounds like something I would do.
gerri
Maybe I should stick with the “old” one–what do you think?!?!?
Actually, my cat’s reaction was funnier…she turned away…rolled over and hid under the bed for hours! Maybe she thought I was going to “curl” her whiskers?! Smile!
Hugs,
Connie
Connie,
What IS UP with these new curlers?! I had a similar experience with the new one I bought just a couple of weeks ago. I KNOW I’m not mechanically inclined, but sheesh! it’s just an eyelash curler, been using ‘em for 25 years, and I absolutely cannot figure this thing out. It doesn’t fit the entire length of my eye, then it only “bends” a portion of the lashes, notice I didn’t say “curls”.
What is the agency in charge of regulating the beauty product industry? Who inspects these seemingly innocent products that maim, and mutilate unsuspecting women? How many injuries have been attributed to these horrible “appliances”?? We should take a stand!
You crack me up!!! Too funny! Were we separated at birth (I know there’s a family tree somewhere and we’re hanging on it!).
Amen Sister…preach it! The one I got was “plastic” actually and I thought it was cute because it was “pink” and well…need I say more. Then I looked on the Internet and you can buy “heated” eyelash curlers:
http://beauty.about.com/od/makeuptrickstips/qt/heatedeyelash.htm
Great! Now I can “pinch” and “burn” my lashes!
I just got my “old” curler out of the wastebasket, picked off the cottonball fuzz and threw the pink one away! I feel better already!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your “bend” story. LOL
Hugs!
Connie
Great, all we need is to throw heat into the equation!
I am in mourning for my old curler. Haven’t had the courage to send it off with the cottonball fuzz, for some reason…it only needs a new rubber thingy!
Boomer Babes,
And I thought locking myself out of the house today was the worse thing that could happen till I read your adventure to Lid-Land. Bless your heart hun. Only thing left to do was to curl the other lid to make them match, right?
Dana,
Yes…retrieve that “old” thing and never let it get away again–ever! Thankfully, I think the rubber thingy can be replaced. We can share if you like…you can have my for a week and then we’ll switch–okay? LOL
Hugs,
Connie
Queen Jaw-Jaw,
Thanks for stopping by and making me laugh–”Lid-Land”! Too funny. I’m all set up…I found the perfect color eye shadow for the other eye (and the puffiness went down), so I’m set! I’ve got a matching pair now!
Isn’t it awful to lock yourself out of the house? I have several stories about that–the worst happened in Italy in our 17 story apartment building. I’ll have to blog about that sometime.
You keep safe and thanks for sharing!
Hugs,
Connie
Connie,
“the perfect color eye shadow for the other eye” LOL! now THAT is just TOO funny!
QueenJJ, “Curl the other lid”, oh my! LOL!
I adore you both!! Ok, ladies I didn’t get near enough work done today and it’s partly because of all the laughing with you two! Great therapy though, who needs Prozac, on a day like today?!
Friends, …. the drug of choice! And Connie, if locking myself out of the house is the worse thing that happens, I consider THAT a good day…you should follow me around.
Your fans will be waiting patiently for the Italy story….
Queen-Jaw Jaw,
I just visited your site…(boomers check it out!). Fabulous, funny, and fit for a Queen! We definitely have to get together!
I’ll tease you a little bit with the “lock out” in Italy (the locks in Italy are deadbolts that actually go down into the floor!). It’s a “Mafia” thing! I brought in the groceries (no small feat–17 stories), and let Jeremy our 3-year-old in first before I got the groceries, and then closed the door… (what happened next is a book!). Jeremy still talks about it–he remembers everything! Why do kids always remember the bad stuff!
Now that I found your site…I’ll be by often and telling my virtual friends about you too!
Hugs,
Connie
My boys have fabulous eyelashes. Isn’t that always the way? Me, I’m content to use eyeliner for my little eyes. But why not just switch to false lashes? They have to be less painful.
Oh, Connie. I’m sorry! Your accident reminds my of an incident from the early 60s. A friend’s mother was curling her eyelashes when her husband came from behind and tickled her. I never found out if her eyelashes ever grew back.
Things could always be worse, I guess. I wish you a quick recovery! Blessings, Ginger
Flea,
Why is that? I almost posted a picture of my baby brother–he got the long, thick eyelashes. Is it because they can’t wear mascara?!?! Smile.
I thought about fake eyelashes, but then I would probably misplace one of the matching pairs! Can you imagine? I’m terribly allergic to adhesive tape, so whatever glue they use could create another set of problems. I think I like me with mascara minus the “curl” for a while!
Hugs,
Connie
Ginger,
That’s terrible! I was laughing and crying…only because I could see me doing that! Oh no…something else to think about. You know what? I’m going to throw my “curler” away. This is just all too scary.
Hugs,
Connie
Dana and Jawjaw, so good to see you here at Boomerbabes!
Connie, after the shoulder and the eyelid, you need to just plant yourself. Please, whatever you do, don’t buy any other girly appliances. I can’t imagine what you could do with a flattening or curling iron.
Very funny…that thought crossed my mind yesterday as I was looking at all the contraptions we as boomer have to choose from. The curling iron would definitely be a lethal weapon and I don’t even want to know what I coud do with a flattening iron! Smile.
Hugs,
Connie