I returned two items to Wal-Mart on Friday and immediately the greeter tagged me, “Are you returning those things?”
Umm…
Hint: If you walk into a Wal-Mart store carrying a bag that says “Wal-Mart” they get suspicious every time.
I nodded, “yes,” and then the greeter got out his gun. “No”—not a real gun—one that shoots orange-colored stickers. He slapped one on my bag, wrote the #2 with his black Magic Marker, and pointed me to the “return” counter. He waved me back and whispered, “Be sure to stay in line!”
The line wrapped around two aisles; I had never seen anything like it.
As I found out, this line was not just for returns, but for cashing checks. Did you realize that Wal-Mart will cash your payroll check?
I did not know this!
In back of me were the Merry Maids and in front of me was the housekeeping unit at the Fairfield Marriott Hotel. The Merry Maids were talking about the Marriott Housekeepers, so I “accidentally” listened in on their conversation. I can only repeat the “nice” things—okay—because this is “Boomer Babes.” Really, what else did I have to do while I waited in line for 35 minutes? This is how it went:
Merry Maid #1 asked Merry Maid #2: “So who are those girls in the gray uniforms?”
Merry Maid #2: “Oh, they do the same thing we do, except they have more vacation days and get paid for them too!”
See what I mean? I learned so many interesting things, like: you need a driver’s license to cash a payroll check if it’s your first time. And you can send a money order anywhere in the world, as long as you have the money to back it up (that’s what the elderly gentleman in front of me found out). You can only send $500 to Panama if you have that much money to give to the lady who fills out the form.
Interesting, huh?
I started to feel strange in an odd sort of way because I wasn’t standing in line with a payroll check; I just had a basket and some CD’s to return. (You have to return the stuff that you don’t want in order to get the things that you really need!)
The learning curve got steeper. Did you realize, there are more people in line at Wal-Mart on a Friday afternoon at 4:45 p.m. than in the New York City Subway? The line continued to grow (factory workers, landscapers, Dairy Pride Farmers), and then there was me—the basket lady—trying to return two small items.
Wal-Mart is still my favorite place. I love their prices, their shopping carts, their greeters, and trying to find my car in the parking lot after I’ve been in the store longer than 30 minutes.
I also found out that if you stay in line long enough—you just might learn something. That’s my new motto and I’m sticking to it!
P.S. I’m on my way to New York for a speaking event, so I’ll let you know about the line at the subway and what I learn!
13 Comments
How funny! I was just in Wal-Mart and I didn’t learn a single thing! Okay, I learned that a bag of oranges IN FLORIDA of all places is horribly expensive. My husband nearly flipped when I came home with him. But, hey! I’m a boomerbabe and if I want an orange….
This story brought to mind a funny incident that happened to me when I was standing in a LONG line at the post office. It was nearing the holidays–Hanukkah and Christmas–and people were attempting to get their packages mailed. I stood behind a Jewish man–I know he was Jewish, he wore a Yarmulke (skull cap). When it was FINALLY his turn at the window, he handed his package over and said “I’d also like a book of stamps. Something to do with the holidays like the poinsettia ones you’ve got displayed up there.” The post office employee informed him that they were out of those. He sighed. “But I need stamps,” he said. She smiled sweetly. “We HAVE stamps, just not those.” He said, “Well give me what you have then.” To which she supplied him with a sheet of Virgin Mary stamps. I burst out laughing. Apparently she could not see his yarmulke!! He said, “Not these!!” She said, “But sir, they are the only ones we have left!” He shook his head, “But I can’t use THESE!!” I leaned in just then and said, “Why not?” I pointed to the stamps. “She’s Jewish…he’s Jewish….” Then HE laughed. “You have a point, my dear,” he said. “But can you imagine me sending my Hannukah cards out with THIS on the envelopes?”
We all shared a good laugh…but the man left without stamps.
I’m stilll laughing…oh my! A stamp story that–with your permission–I will HAVE to re-tell to my dear Jewish friend. She has a few of her own, but this one she will truly appreciate.
Post offices at 5:00 p.m. are a great place for writers to gather stories. Now our post office has an automated machine that sends packages, spits out stamps, and replaces the postman. But nothing can replace STANDING in line!
Thanks for sharing your story, Eva, now I’m off to stand in a NY line (unlike a New York minute!).
Hugs!
As I try to move all of my utilities away from my home of nearly 14 years to my new home, I long for a line with real people instead of waiting on the phone, punching in numbers to the rhythm of an automated voice. : )
Well, well, well, you and your “line” adventures!
Hey Connie, I checked out your link… you’re going to Mohonk Valley… beautiful, have you been? Jim and I went to Mohonk Mountain House for our tenth anniversary - stunning views of the Catskills.
I don’t know if this link will work but I’ll give it try. This time of year should be beautiful with the trees!
http://outdoors.webshots.com/photo/1497658846080906783evcVIO
Love ya Sis and will catch up with you later. Have a safe and fun trip to N.Y. You’re in my thoughts and prayers:)
P.S. Here’s a little glimpse of New York’s best kept secret!
http://www.mohonk.com/
Susan,
Yes, we have been to the Mohonk, but only as “day” guests. They give you a pass that let’s you explore and even have lunch on the premises (they closely guard this sacred place–is it any wonder?!). What a tranquil resort…no televisions or other distractions, just serene beauty. It reminds me of that movie, “Somewhere in Time” with Christopher Reeves.
As soon as my schedule slows down, we need to get caught up, okay? I’ll even travel the turnpike (and you KNOW how much I LOVE the turnpike!).
Hugs!
Oh Suz,
When I first heard you were moving, I thought about the ONE THING I can’t stand…the very thing you described! MOVING UTILITIES is the worst part of the package.
I’ll never forget when I finally got a “real” person on the other end of the phone after finally hitting “operator.” HINT: Sometimes that will speed things along or bring you back to “zero.” Smile!
When I heard a human voice, I started crying and squeaked, “Please tell me you’re a “real” person!” The operator laughed and I cried. I was at the end of my tether (to put it mildly!).
I’ll pray, Suz! (Okay, back to packing my suitcase!).
LOL. I always enjoy your posts Connie. Have a wonderful trip to NY.
I haven’t been to Wal-mart in over a year and I can tell you that I have enjoyed the fact that I have no long schedule my shopping trips based on how long I think the lines will be. The only thing I miss is having time to just stand there observing all the other shoppers. That and I don’t see as many church members out shopping as I did before. I may be spending more money, but I figure that I would rather pay a store to get me through the line more quickly and have that time to do other things.
Have any of you seen the documentary on Wal*Mart: The High Cost of Low Price? http://www.walmartmovie.com/about.php
It was extremely eye opening.
The crazy thing is that I saw the documentary and still shop there. I can’t help it. I love a bargain. Plus, I figure the majority of those big warehouse stores do very similar to what Wal*Mart has been picked on for doing.
Jan, Timothy, and Dotsie,
Sorry, I’ve been out of town and I’m still catching up. WalMart, oh yes, I was just there again today and it wasn’t Friday. Might I add, there was still a long line at the customer service counter and I giggled!
I go to WalMart to gather stories and I’m never disappointed. If I sat there all day (which I don’t plan on doing in the near future), I could write a book or maybe two!
Dotsie, I guess I’ll have to check out the link, “High Cost of Low Price.” Thanks for drawing my attention to it.
Hugs,
Connie
WALLY WORLD? I love/hate that place. They are like the “UTILITY” companies. They have us and they know it. But I can take it a step further. Do you go to WW, then drive across town to get your bread because it’s 10 cents cheaper than at WW? No, I don’t do that, a friend does. I swear its not me. Nu uh. Would I lie?
One of my Queenisms is that the amount of time you spend in Wal-mart’s customer service line, will only be exceeded by the urgency and need you have for using the restroom. Which, by the way, is only a few feet away from the Customer Service! Coincidence? I think not.
Oh how you make me laugh…only because I drank too much water while running my errands (and thankfully Wal-Mart wasn’t on my list today). I have to pace myself with that water bottle or map out all my potty stops on Mapquest before I head out. That is after I have located my keys, sunglasses, and purse (they’re never in the same place–ever!). Maybe I shoud just carry a man’s wallet.