Are you juggling too many balls?
I am.
I took a long hard look at my life this past week and the message came through loud and clear…SIMPLIFY!
What is it that I do best? I asked my husband and he didn’t give me the right answer. He answered a question with a question.
I was desperate to hear what he had to say, but more importantly I wanted him to tell me what to do with the rest of my life. It was almost like when I was diagnosed with breast cancer twelve years ago. I pleaded with doctors, friends, and even family members, to tell me what to do.
I was so confused.
There were so many choices: lumpectomy, mastectomy, double mastectomy, radiation, chemo, or I could do nothing at all. I’m really glad I didn’t choose that ONE!
No one told me what to do; I had to listen to my heart.
Writing is like breathing to me, just like painting is therapy for my mom. I can’t imagine my life without it, but sometimes I feel like I’m selling myself to deadlines.
Two nights ago, I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. to get a story in before the deadline. The night before that, I stayed up until 4:00 a.m. to get a report into a client with strict deadlines. And tonight, I’m writing this post for tomorrow, so I can sleep in (finally!).
Then I reminded myself what got me into writing in the first place: it was my passion. But why can’t I write for the sake of writing, like my mom paints for the sake of painting. She doesn’t sell her work.
I even offered to put on an art show for my mom while I was in California; one of those trendy things they do in Brentwood!
I explained to my mom that we could rent an art gallery, have a wine tasting with hor’derves, and everyone could bid on her paintings.
My mom looked at me with the strangest expression and said, “Why would I want to do a thing like that?”
Exactly!
That’s the irony, isn’t it? One day, people will want to buy my mom’s paintings for the very reason she never wanted to sell them in the first place. It’s because others will want to have BACK that part of themselves that they SOLD!
My mom paints for the pure pleasure of painting and that’s why it never loses its joy. 
There is a price to pay…you can’t have it both ways. I’m looking at my mom’s work of art in a new light; I’m looking at my writing from a different perspective.
I never want to lose my passion for a God-given gift, and I fear that I have already done that.
My life is going to be much more simple….
18 Comments
Oh my goodness! Your mother’s art is simply stunning!
I love her point though–they are not for sale….they already are sold–they belong to her and the One who bestowed her gift!
Simplify! NOw there’s a thought! I, too, am running from deadline to deadline….and have not stopped to breathe until I read your post. Perfect! Thank you for sharing from your heart.
Not only is your mom a beautiful artist…she is a profoundly wise mother!
God Bless you both!
Diane
Connie
Thanks so much for the reminder. I too love to write but I lost the joy of writing when I began to try to write to be published. The loss of joy even showed in my writing as it began to look forced. I want to write because I love to write. I don’t want to write as a source of income. For me, that takes all the fun out of it. I have decided not to write a book but instead just continue writing short stories as the mood hits me.
The same could be said for my gardening or anything else in life. Live life with a passion but never let that passion comsume you or direct your life. Live because you love to live and love because you can. Simple is always better. Thank you.
Greg
My breathing deepened and my heart slowed as I read your post. Thank you, Connie. And I hope you’re still resting this morning. Sweet dreams.
Connie
As you know, this is a topic near and dear to my heart–I’ve written about it, speak about it, and so on. Simplicity, which people often confuse with simply “getting organized” or downsizing, is actually about your focus.
I have to disagree, tho: I think you can have it both ways. I think that even when writing is a “job” it doesn’t necessarily take away the joy of it. I write for a living and I love it! But it depends on your view of work. To me, work is one way that we reflect the image of God–our creativity is a reflection of our creator. If we share our creativity with others (by working, or by simply sharing it), we give testimony to God.
Work is a privilege and a gift, I think. My work blesses others, but it also blesses my family by putting food on the table.
Frederick Buechner said that calling is where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need. God has called me to write, and not just for my own gladness, but so that my words can meet the needs of others.
It’s a amazing what a good’s night rest will do! I awoke to birds chirping, the sun filtering through the sheer white curtains, and the warmth of day graced my cheeks with the newness of life. Oh, blessed be the day!
DIANE: You got it! It took me a while to get it too (smile!). I remember when I first started writing, four years ago, and I worked with an editor who “edited” my work. I’ll never forget what he said, “I can copy edit, but I can’t lay the words down on paper like you do.” Interesting, huh? I thought the same thing about his work; he was so passionate about an ellipsis, an em-dash, and an en-dash. He made my words jump to life with a comma, a period, and a dash (his passion!). He reminded me that both are passionate gifts, and never to compare one with the other.
ALLISON: I’m learning to listen more to that still small voice!
GREG: What great advice–you get it too! It’s funny, the first time I was published I’ll never forget the feeling. But then it started to lose that joy and wonder underneath the burden of deadlines. Can you imagine going out to your garden and telling your tomato plants, “Grow in the next 24 hours to vine-ripened tomatoes, so I can have you for lunch!” Hmm…I wonder what would happen?!? Keep that passion for writing kindled…don’t let the embers burn out. You are wise; continue to write for the “right” purpose!
CAROLYN: You are such a profound writer…I love reading your comments. I have to tell you that I finally joined a writer’s group and I was so stressed after the first meeting that I quit. They were all complaining about “deadlines” and how they couldn’t write, and the quality wasn’t there, and my heart started to race, my throat had a HUGE lump in it, and I started to sweat. I left the semi-circle of poor, tired, stressed-out writers, and went to Starbucks for a honey latte. Ahh…much better!
Keri, thank you. That was well put!
The problem: I just don’t write and speak…I run a business “Baskets Full of Hope” and few hundred other things (literally!) that are SO MUCH FUN. I’m PASSIONATE about all of them. It’s like asking me, “Which one of your children do you want to give up?”
Psychologists today tell us that the single greatest enemy of the 21st century is “busyness”; it fractures families, destroys marriages, and eats up the soul.
I’m reminded of the movie, “City Slickers,” when Jack Palance says to Billy Crystal, “This ONE thing!” And Billy Crystal responds, “What ONE thing?” And Jack says, “You’ll know!”
I think I “KNOW”…at least it is becoming more clear!
I have trouble being busy enough. Rather, having goals and being scheduled. If I don’t have projects, goals, deadlines, goals, nothign gets done. Maybe it’s where I am in life, combined with my personality? But I’m waiting for the day when I have too much to do.
Ah my dear, I hear you loud and clear. I’ve had to take a hard look at my writing, from a “financial aspect” that is. I LOVE to write, but until the day when my writing does put food on the table, I am taking a closer look at what is important.
Do I want to reach people for Christ’s sake? I do. I am continuing to seek His face as to what that might look for me at this time in my life with my writing. I do know that I will have the privilege of speaking to 2 MOPS groups in a few weeks as a result of two pieces I wrote in a devotional for mothers (you know the book - you’re in it too and dear Carolyn, my grounded writing pal).
According to the IRS this year, my writing is a hobby. So how do I look at my writing? I’d rather think of my writing as a ministry because not only does it bring me joy, I pray it speaks to hearts as well.
Thank you for this thought provoking post my dear friend.
Flea,
Come to PA…I’ll put you to work. I just went to the store to pick up some bread and milk (every third day I try to feed hubby something besides kitty litter), and when I came home, Bianca was dancing on the keys of my laptop. It now reads in Spanish: “Buscar con Google” and “Voy a tener suerte.”
Then I called the pharmacy to fill my hubby’s high blood pressure medication, and the first prompt was “Press one for Spanish,” and so I did! I wonder what kind of Rx he’ll get?!?!?!
Oh, that’s not all, the home page of my website now has a photo show on it and I can’t get it off!
Come to PA…I’ll put you to work!
HUGS!
Susan,
How fun, speaking to MOPS groups! I just got my copy of Hearts at Home “I’m Glad I’m a Mom,” and I’ve enjoyed reading throught the stories! You have so much to give to moms and you can relate on so many different levels. I truly believe that’s where God has called you to speak.
I ran to the store, so I’m trying to catch up here. Thanks for your call, dear! You are so AWESOME. We need to get together for lunch.
I’ll call you on the cell.
HUGS!
Geez! I can’t speak Spanish, Connie!
If I could get there, I’d do it in a heartbeat. And I know I shouldn’t complain about meandering through my days. I’ll probably start my next class in May, then be busy enough for a few months. So I should just enjoy it while I can. Except, without structure, I don’t get anything done at all! Argh!!! Maybe I will come out and visit …
Flea,
Spanish and Italian go hand in hand…those wonderful romance languages. Although I lost a lot of my Spanish in learning Italian, I still remember phrases (and those dialgues we had to learn, “Hola, Isabel, como estas?”).
Umm…I think we need to find the balance don’t we…too much and too little!
HUGS!
Am saving the Redwoods painting on my computer…love it!
Relax….be at peace….doors open and close…We are doing a Bible study on Change….we all have it…like the chicken pox…years ago we all used to get…How we handle it makes all the difference….
Jeanne
Connie, what I see while reading your post about what to keep and what to give up is the glorious fact that you have choices. You are blessed with so many options. No matter what you choose, I know for a fact, God will continue to use you to bring joy and honesty to the lives of others. Be still and know that He is God!
Jeanne,
You are a wise woman and I want to be just like you when I “grow up.” You reminded me of the horrible chicken pox years…1988! It was six week inside with two little boys. We all survived. My mom has a saying, “This too shall pass, and it did!”
HUGS!
You’re right, Dotsie, I do have choices! That’s a blessing, isn’t it? The ability to “choose” what I want to do. Thanks for that lovely reminder. I will file it away in my heart!
HUGS!
Connie,
You have always inspired me with your ability to “do it all”. I thought you must have been born with the ability to juggle everything that comes your way…and do it well! How reassurng to know t hat you too are human! I will pray that you make the right decision for you as to which balls you keep juggling and which one’s you put down for a while. God Bless!
Thanks AJ! I assure you, I can’t do it all and I am very human. I’m letting a few of those balls go. God has been good to reveal “His” priorities to me!
Hugs!