Comment from Flea
Time: May 5, 2008, 10:29 am

Man alive. Definitely I’ll pray for you.

Now that my children are in school (hallelujah!), I love the quiet time to work. Three weeks till school’s out and I’m going to go insane, I think. I have no idea how I made it through nine years of home schooling.

My husband has been home today, but I actually (and this was a first for me) sat with him, went over his schedule for the day, then told him MY schedule for the day. He volunteered to leave me alone. For my extroverted man, that’s quite an offer. It’s why I love him.

It felt a little pushy, telling him what I had to do, expecting him to respect my time, especially since I’m the type to drop everything and hang out, like you. Maybe, if she’s working evenings, or it takes a little while to get a job, work out a schedule for when you will hang out. Or like Suzie did earlier in the year, head to the public library to work. You’re right. This is a tough thing to do. But you can do it!

Oh, and you already know this, but it’s a good thing she’s home and available for so long. Who knows what things, after being gone so long, she’ll NEED to talk about? I’m grateful for you, for this opportunity.

Comment from Dotsie
Time: May 5, 2008, 10:45 am

Thanks for putting a different spin on it. I never thought of leaving the house to get work accomplished. I could do that if needed.

How will you get work done this summer while the kids are home?

Comment from suzanne eller
Time: May 5, 2008, 12:54 pm

Josh and Melissa are coming to stay with us for four to six weeks while they transition to a new city in a new state one hour from us. They both graduate in May, their lease ends in June, and their programs begin at the end of summer. They are in trying to find a home (their first) and learn about their new community, so they needed some place to stay while they find that and also find summer work.

I plan to go back to my university office during the day in order to accomplish what I need to do each day. Otherwise, knowing me, I’ll be distracted.

I look forward to spending time with Josh and Melissa. They are such a blessing, but I also know that there will be things that we’ll have to talk about in advance so that we are all comfy in our little crowded nest for a few weeks. : )

Comment from Dotsie
Time: May 5, 2008, 1:04 pm

You are wise to talk it out ahead of time. We did this when our son moved back home. Which reminds me - we need to do this with our daughter, set some house rules.

Enjoy their presence. I know you will. It’s probably the last time they’ll live under your roof. I find that sad.

Comment from Keri
Time: May 5, 2008, 6:28 pm

I work from home. My husband has an office but is self-employed, and often he will work from home for part of the day as well. I’m working on getting him to leave me alone (”I’m on deadline” works). But sometimes I just need to go somewhere else to work. the local coffee shop or library works. But my laptop is 10 years old and doesn’t even have wi fi so it’s not the same as working in my home office. Soon my kids will be out of school for the summer. Now that they are older, they sleep in. So my best time to work is early morning, before they get up. I’ve got a book to finish by Sept. 1 so I am trying to get as much done as possible before school gets out.

Comment from Flea
Time: May 5, 2008, 7:25 pm

Keri, I have a cute little midnight blue Dell Inspiron for sale. I know a grad student (my Hunny) who dropped out to spend more time with his children. Only if you’re interested.

Dotsie, this is my first summer not being a homeschool mom, so I hadn’t thought of how to spend it. I substitute teach, so I’ll be out of work this summer. Yay!!! But gas is too expensive to take the road trips we like. And honestly, I think BECAUSE we homeschooled, we all are accustomed to our own space and doing our own thing. So I sit and write and read while everyone else goes about their business. Somehow, though, the housework doesn’t slow down. I think THAT will be the summer issue. Chores will increase with the constant presence of teenagers. Ugh.

Ah! But the children will have the time to do their own laundry and clean the kitchen. So I am definitely looking forward to summer!

Comment from Jean Wise
Time: May 6, 2008, 3:17 am

Dotsie, Thank you for bringing this writers’ dilemma to our attention.

I am also so much better at writing when no one is here. My hubby will soon be retiring and though he wants to find a new position, his schedule will be different and home much more often. Thinking ahead of time how I will handle this change is very helpful.

I have a separate office though only do a little writing there. I think I will try “training” myself to be more productive in that space where I can shut the door, if needed. Working out of there will also “signal” that I am working. Good topic!
Jean Wise

Comment from Dotsie
Time: May 6, 2008, 3:58 am

Keri, being an early bird helps, doesn’t it?

I haven’t found the perfect place to take my lap top yet. That’s going to be soemthing I figure out this summer. We have Starbucks within wlaking distance, but they are so crowded. I know I wuold be distracted.

Keep plugging on that book. It sure would be fun if you could get it done soon and then be able to be more relaxed this summer.

Comment from Dotsie
Time: May 6, 2008, 4:03 am

Flea, how old are your teens? And how many? My 20 year-old daughter moves home tonight. Tomorrow I must go over house rules, but first I have to think of what they should be for a 20 year-old. I wrote an article about boomerangs not long ago. I think I better pull that out.

I think homeschooling teaches a family to work well together. Good for you that you have those habits already.

Comment from Dotsie
Time: May 6, 2008, 4:05 am

Jean, I definitely recommend using your office and making that a place of work. Shutting the door will hopefully tell your husband that you are busy. Good luck with the changes.

Comment from Cheryl Wright
Time: May 6, 2008, 5:06 am

I’m a member of a “computer household.” We, (husband, son and I) have our own computers. My husband, a teacher is studying for his degree in School Management and the library is his domain when he’s at home. My son, when he isn’t at work, teaching, spends his time in his room with his. And then there is me, in my corner office in my bedroom. We pop into each other’s room every now and then just to say hello and to make sure that everything is all right. They don’t pose a major distraction to me.

My married daughter though, who lives in the annex is on study leave from her job, is my prime distraction. I’m happy that we have this great relationship but as “mall strolling” buddies it’s difficult “No. I can’t go to the mall today. I’m have work to do. But come by later and we’ll chat.” She understands and don’t take it personally, but I really enjoy hanging out with her and feel a bit guilty sometimes.

Like you Dotsie, I’m praying for her studies to end (3 more months) and for her to return to her fulltime job in October.

Comment from Dotsie
Time: May 6, 2008, 5:48 am

Cheryl, my daughter understands most of the time. It’s me who puts pressure on myself to try to do everything else while working full-time.

Sounds like you have lots of activity in your home!

Comment from Cheryl Wright
Time: May 6, 2008, 6:08 am

There is a lot of activity but in the sense that everyone is busy doing their own thing on their own computer.

I can’t complain. Most days I have all the uninterrupted time in the world to write. But I am my own worst enemy, my own distraction.

I distract myself with my obsessive compulsion to clean, I’m a chronic procrastinator, I feel guilty when I stick to my writing schedule in the face of requests for my time and I feel bad when I give in.

Thankfully, I see progress. I’m improving by the grace of God. I’m learning to create balance and still maintain the discipline required to sustain a productive writing life.

Comment from Dotsie
Time: May 6, 2008, 6:23 am

Cheryl, discipline and balance are key for working from home.

Have you tried setting timers? It works for me. If I really want/need to get soemthing accomplished, I set my timer and nothing can distract me until it goes off. It works well.

Comment from Cheryl Wright
Time: May 6, 2008, 6:59 am

Yes Dotsie, I use a timer when I’m working on a project that involves a lot of intense research. When I’m busy writing my specialty lifestyle articles for my column, blogs or some other assignment, which require a more personal approach, a more personal touch, I find the timer confining. At those times, it feels more like a prison guard when I need to feel free to write free(ly). Do you understand?

Comment from Flea
Time: May 6, 2008, 9:11 am

Dotsie, my teens are newly 14 and 15. Well, one turned 14 last week and the other will be 15 in two weeks. My third child turns eleven next month. He’s the one who wants all the attention all the time, but even he has learned that it’s not always appropriate.

I’m very bad about dropping everything when others come over, so I understand. Your daughter, at this point, is almost like company. I’d probably have the same dilemma. But the length of her stay might solve that after the whole “company” feel has worn off and life settles back in to normal.

Comment from Karla Akins
Time: May 6, 2008, 7:07 pm

I home school, well, I cottage school. I teach my own and a bunch of other kids. Anyway, I don’t get to write until they are asleep. OR, I just get in my “zone” mentally with all the activity around me. I’m very good at tuning stuff out. Having said that, though, I think it’s an eternal struggle for women who write. If it’s not our own children it’s the grandchildren. I have three boys still at home — two with autism — and 4 grandchildren. But I would never trade a childless life for my life with children! They are what life is all about!

Comment from Dotsie
Time: May 7, 2008, 4:14 am

Welcome Karla. I’ve never heard of cottage schooling. So you’re the town teacher. Sounds interesting. You must have many people in your life. That’s a blessing.

I appreciate your comment about not trading for a childless life. Our first two children are adopted. I recall the pains of thinking we may never have children. That was a very sad tme. Our children ar e now 19,20 and 23.