Honey, I think I mailed my car keys to Harrisonburg, Virginia?”
There was silence on the other end of the phone.
“Where are you now?” hubby shouted!
“I’m in the passport section of the post office”
I heard a faint chuckle, “Are you planning to leave the country anytime soon?”
Relieved to know hubby still had his sense of humor intact, I explained that I accidentally mailed my car keys in a package and sent them on their merry way.
“Wait right there; I’m leaving work in 10 minutes!” he explained.
Friday, December 14 was the busiest day of the year at the post office, and I had one more package to mail—a book bundle giveaway.
Just moments earlier I was in one of my favorite places—“La Dolce Vita”—sipping cappuccino and enjoying a little taste of Italy with my Italian-speaking friends at the “pasticceria” bakery shop at 4 N. Duke Street in downtown, Lancaster (a real slice of Italy in the heart of the city).
From there I went back to “America”—the post office. The parking lot was full and there were at least 75 anxious customers in line with packages galore, so I headed for the automated postal machine.
I had all the materials I would need: box, bubble wrap, scissors, and tape. There were twelve of us working at a six-foot long table, so I kept inching my way down until I ended up on the floor with everything in the box! Before the 6:30 p.m. deadline, I slapped a priority sticker on the box, dropped it in the stainless still barrel, pulled the lever, heard a loud “CLUNK,” and breathed a sigh of relief.
Christmas shopping and mailing was done!
I skipped out the door humming “Jungle Bells” all the way to the car. When I reached in my pocket to grab my car keys; they weren’t there. I spilled the contents of my purse on the hood of the car, and still no keys! I peeked inside the car, in the ignition, on the floor board, and on the seat.
NO KEYS!
Then I remembered my hubby hid a pair of spare keys behind the rear wheel (just in case!). I got down on all fours, reached underneath the wheel base, and grabbed a wad of dirty duct tape (but no keys!).
Maybe I left them on the counter in the post office, I thought. I ran inside with my arms waving and shouted, “Did anyone find a set of car keys?” The stunned crowd wagged their heads, “no.”
Realizing that I was now profiled as a customer who had gone “postal,” I inched my way to the back of the line and dropped out of sight.
When I looked up, I saw a sign that read: “Be sure to place your return address on all packages!”
I let out a scream, “NOoooooooooooooo!”
The entire post office was my audience and my guttural cry for HELP got their attention! Their faces said it all, “A crazy lady had wandered in off the streets to get warm.” And I was the CRAZY LADY!
I stuck my head in the steel drum where just moments before I had dropped off my package. I yelled, “PLEASE HELP ME, my keys are in a box!”
Not only had the “crazy lady” mailed her keys; she was now trying to jump in the bin and mail herself!
The man waiting in line behind me found the whole thing quite amusing. He tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, “Don’t expect an answer anytime soon; there’s no one back there!”
I fled to the corner of the post office to collect my thoughts. When I looked up, there was another sign: “Passport office.” The woman behind the counter had kind-looking eyes and wore a jingle bell necklace and reindeer antlers. Oh good, I thought. Someone I could trust.
“Excuse me, “Eileen,” I think I mailed my car keys to Harrisonburg, VA and I need them back—can you help me?”
She seemed a bit confused. “Now, let me get this straight, you want to ‘stop shipment’ on your package, is that correct?”
“Yes, I think so.” I confessed.
“All right then, we just need to fill out a little paperwork!”
After twenty questions, I stopped Eileen in mid-sentence and asked if there was any way she could sneak back into the “cargo hold” and grab my package from the priority bin before they loaded it on the truck?
“Oh, that’s a wonderful idea!” she said.
Ten minutes later, Eileen emerged with two packages in her arms. I recognized mine immediately by the tape job.
“That’s it…that’s my box!” I shouted.
Eileen placed the box on the counter and with box cutters in one hand and scissors in the other we dissected the contents. When the last flap was opened, I took a deep breath.
In the left-hand corner underneath the bubble wrap, I saw a speck of black.
It was my car keys!
I grabbed them, along with Eileen, and together we jumped up and down!
“Thank you so much; I can’t thank you enough!”
Eileen grabbed the fake rhinestone tiara sitting on her desk, plopped it on her head, and said, “That’s me—Eileen, the Passport Queen—at your service!”
I hugged her again and said, “You made my day!”
She giggled back, and said, “You made mine as well!”
I called hubby and said, “False alarm…keys are found!” (The rest of the story could wait until I got home!)
On the post office’s busiest day, I found a new friend in the form of a postal worker who wasn’t too busy to help someone in need. She not only gave me a “passport” home, she made me realize that “friends” are everywhere waiting to help. We just need to ask!
P.S. If you’re reading this today, Eileen, thank you again for making my Christmas a very special one!
13 Comments
Connie, that is so nerve wracking, and absolutely hilarious! Poor little bunny. I’m sure hubby got a good laugh when you got home.
I locked my kids and keys in the car when they were two and three, in the summer in Florida. I also made a call, but to AAA. At some point my two year old boy unbuckled his car seat and climbed up front. And proceeded to turn on the radio, wipers, lights, turn signal and hazards before unlocking the door.
You’re not alone! And this is a crazy time of year. Yay to Eileen the Queen!
Oh…I love the ‘postal’ mention…It’s so good to see humor in our lives, Connie..especially when one wants everything to go smoothly..like mailing a package…did you use UPS????
Did you have the coffee before or during this ordeal??
I’m sure the Christ of Christmas could see you and made sure you got the help you needed…
See you tomorrow….Jeanne
Connie, oh my… I felt like I was in the post office with you my dear friend!
I can’t believe it… I am ALWAYS losing my keys. In fact, just the other day at the bank, I wonder what people thought about some looney chick frisking herself trying to find what random pocket she might have put her keys in this time! Is this part of a Sanguine ritual or rite of passage? LOL! (I was that looney chick!)
You crack me up girl! What an ordeal! And to think you actually did put your keys in that package!!!!!!!!! I’m glad they didn’t go postal on you at the post office, hee, hee, hee! And I’m so glad that, Praise God, you got your passport home!
Have a wonderful Christmas my dear!
Flea, Jeanne, and Susan,
I have to confess, I didn’t use UPS (my husband is in management with the company), and I’m always watching my back when I’m at USPS. In fact, that’s the “second” question my husband asked, “Why didn’t you use UPS?” Oops!
I had just left my wonderful world of Italy! Did you realize if it’s closing time (and I’m running late), I just call and they leave the door open for me? (That is soooooooo Italian!) I wish I could scoop you all up and whisk you away to “La Dolce Vita” for a taste of my world. Heavenly!
Well, girls, you got first glimpse into Chicken Soup for the “Most Embarrassing Moments,” that seem to be a daily occurrence for me!
Flea, guess what? I left our son strapped in his car seat in our tiny apartment in Italy and drove off without him. Twenty kilometers down the road, I reached back to cover him up (and he was gone!). Poor, Jeremy, was the reason why we were going to “Palermo” capital of Sicily–to get his “certificato di nascita” birth certificate! Duh… (we needed him for the picture) and a few other things!
Jeanne, I’ll be there tomorrow if I remember (smile!). LOL!
Susan, what day is our book signing?!?!?! (BIG SMILE!) Between you and me we could fill volumes of “Celebrating Life’s Most Embarrassing Moments!”
Flea, something tells me we could be a dangerous “two-some.” Come to town and we’ll give it a test drive!
HUGS TO ALL OF YOU!
Oh, Connie! I can just “see” the entire scene! I’ll bet everyone got a little chuckle over the ordeal, it certainly “livened up” their wait in line!
I want a La Dolce Vita! No, I NEED a La Dolce Vita!
Cheers, ladies!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!
Dana
Dana, Dana, Dana,
Where have you been girl? I was going to call you, but my CHEAP PHONE (101-9898) isn’t working…I love hearing: “This call is 2 cents a minute!” Today I got the recording: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but we are temporariliy out of service!” Do you think they went bankrupt?!?
Anyway, there’s something similar to “La Dolce Vita” (not really, but close enough) in Benicia, CA…let’s go okay (I’ll be there in less than a month!). You’re pretty close (right?!). Clear your calendar, girl! We’re going to have some boomer fun (and work just a little bit too!)–okay?
Connie, sounds like a fun offer. If I ever make it half way across the country, you’re on. Or maybe we’ll meet at some conference somewhere.
We had Verizon for years and loved it. I think it was $25 a month and through our internet connection. All long distance calls in the continental US were free at all times. And since I have friends and family all over the US, it was way cheap. My regular phone bill, without long distance, was about that much. Now I get a similar service through the cable company. You must have a much better deal to stick with it. Or it’s cheaper for you to call Italy?
We have this awesome plan, “Two Guys in Italy” we called them (our bill was never over $20, whether we talked for 6 hours in Italy or 8 hours in California). Just recently, they were taken over by another company and our rate went up to $40. So we’re looking around at different calling plans. Our family is all on different cell phone plans and if we could all agree on ONE PLAN, that would be the best Christmas gift ever!
Give me a call when you’re in the area; I’m flying to Houston next month, but that’s a ways. My layover there is 4 hours, can you believe it?
HUGS!
You had my sides splitting, Connie! I feel for you…I am always losing keys, glasses, etc…us ADHD people need LoJack on everything!
My neighbors all use VONAGE, as they have relatives around the US and overseas. They all love it and it is only $24.99
I could sooooo use La Dolce Vita! This holiday season is going to be the death of me…as my daughter is preparing to leave for college right after the new year. Thankfully tomorrow is my last day of work until January 2nd. We should get together during my “day job” hiatus.
Vonage - thank you Terry. That’s what we had. Relax and enjoy your daughter before she leaves! I know - that’s so easy to say …
A four hour layover? Oh my word. And yes, Houston is quite a distance. Maybe if you’re in Dallas or Kansas City sometime - those are totally in driving distance.
At some point I have to head to Charlotte for a class for grad school, but that’s very far from you. We lived in D.C. for awhile and it was far from there.
Tired and rambling. Time to turn off the lights and the computer.
Terry, Terry, Terry,
Oh, how fun! Yes, let’s…take a photographic journey…”berried in ice.” I love the way the photographer from the newspaper wrote up our last ice storm. So, of course, I had to go and take pictures of “berries and ice” too; I’ll send them to you!
Vonage, huh? Sounds like a plan (tee-hee!). Okay, let’s get serious…look at your calendar! You’re going to need some distraction after your daughter leaves for college (I can provide that–at least that’s what everyone tells me!).
Oh, you should have been here when my tech guy explained the bells and whistles to my new laptop?!?!? Hysterical! Of course, I’ve had Ronnie for the past three years (I have him on speed dial), and he’s used to my ways, so he plans an extra 1-1/2 hours into each house call (I can see you smiling now!).
HUGS!
I’ll jump on over to your blog now (Jon is home from college and we now have a total of five computers running in this house; something is wrong with this picture!).
Dang. I got *this* close to winning a used car. AND a house. But…alas…all I get is a book. *wink*
Glad you got your keys back. Because there’s no telling what THIS crazy lady would have done with a set of keys sent to me, courtesy of, the US mail.
Well actually come to think of it, I’m guessing that I would have ALSO gotten my very own crazy lady, complete with her ” guttural cry for HELP” on my front porch. begging me to return what is rightfully hers.
AND that would have been an even better story. *tease*
Oh Christin,
I don’t think you would want my car…it’s a Buick, and you’ve got a darling family. Andthey just wouldn’t look right in it. But I’d be happy to send you the keys anyway…that way I can get a new car! SMILE! Enjoy your gifts. If things look a mess in the box, it’s because they went through an interrogation process! They are all autographed and you can keep them or give them as gifts. And Josh Groban, if I were you, I’d keep “him.”
HUGS,
Connie
PS I love your blog and what a sweet family you have. Blessings!