Comments on: Meeting Online Friends

By: Dennis Royman

Dennis Royman — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 20:41:13 +0000

Hello! Dotsie I thought your article was very interesting. I have never met face to face with someone I met online.
But if I ever do I hope it will be a blast like your experience was.

By: Dotsie

Dotsie — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:58:51 +0000

Eva, it doens’t feel right to go against setting the example, but you’re right.

By: Dotsie

Dotsie — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:57:49 +0000

Kerri, make sure they aren’t leaving away messages about there where-abouts with AOL IM.

By: Dotsie

Dotsie — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:56:10 +0000

Flea, you are so right about kids thinking they have the wisdom to navigate online relationships. The funny thing is that people are meeting online and dating, and getting married. There are lots of boomer who are doing that.

So how do we tell the kids they can’t, and how do we monitor that? Fortunately, my youngest is 19. While I still have a concern for young adults, my biggest concern is for the younger teens.

By: Dotsie

Dotsie — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:54:08 +0000

I think soem people are hitting the preview button instead of the post because it’s more easily viewable. I know I did that once and then couldn’t find my post.

By: suzanne eller

suzanne eller — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:25:43 +0000

Eva, where is your post? We are dying to hear what you have to say today! : )

Suzie

By: Eva Marie Everson

Eva Marie Everson — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:35:12 +0000

I guess “do what I say, not what I do” doesn’t apply here, huh?

By: Keri Wyatt Kent

Keri Wyatt Kent — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:08:37 +0000

As a mom of a 12 and 14 year old, this is important to me! My daughter has given me the same speech–you only know these people on line??? I work with an assistant who lives in another state. we talk on the phone but mostly work via e-mail. I met her thru a friend that I know both in person and on-line.
My kids don’t yet have MySpace pages. They can IM their friends on AOL teen accounts (which restrict access to certain sites and e-mails with attachments), but they know at any given moment, MLOS is an option (Mom looking over shoulder)
Our only internet access computer is in my office, and they have to keep the door open and I can walk in at any time. there is no privacy for them on this.
but I know I need to keep vigilant in keeping an eye on them, keep talking and adapt the rules as they get older. I’m grateful for the insights.

By: Flea

Flea — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:34:45 +0000

How odd. My comment didn’t post. Oh well.

I spent a bit thinking about this while doing dishes this morning. Suzie, you’re the go-to girl here. Right on the nose. I teach my kids that they anyone who wants to keep something which seems inappropriate secret is harmful. Tell right away. It applies to the internet as well.

Yes, we are like pen pals, getting to know each other gradually over time. I think the key here is that this happens in a community. There’s no real one-on-one environment here. And somebody’s liable to say something if their radar goes off concerning an individual. Even as adults - we’ve seen it happen - connecting strictly one-on-one online can be dangerous.

With age comes wisdom and discernment, something our teens have yet to experience. The hard part is at their age, they want desperately to be adults, to be seen as grown up. Online predators use that. So that trust, Suzie - we have to build it with our kids from early childhood, huh? I’m praying that the investment of time, prayer, teaching and energy pays off in this teen stage of life.

So glad y’all are back! And Connie, have a great time bonding with your parents.

By: Flea

Flea — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:17:15 +0000

Suzie is all over this like white on rice. I spent my morning dish time (yes, I leave my dirty dishes overnight because I enjoy cleaning the kitchen in the morning - shush) thinking about your question, Dotsie, prior to reading the comments. Discernment is something which comes not only from the Holy Spirit (though primarily from Him), but also with age and experience and learning to make wise choices. My teens don’t have that going for them yet.

But Suzie’s exactly right about the secret keeping - we teach children from a young age to keep them from abuse, or to help them tell about abuse, not to trust someone who wants to keep something “just between them”. You’re also right on, Suzie, about wanting something NOW. Wanting to meet NOW. That’s a huge red flag that kids don’t often recognize. Children are often trained to respond quickly when a parent or responsible adult asks them to do something, or for something. Thank you for the reminder to teach my teens to wait, not just for their spouse when it comes to sex, but with anything. Shoot, it’s a great reminder for me when it comes to spending money. Twenty four hours does a lot to clear the impulses. Talking to someone before I make the decision to spend (or meet) often levels my head.

I’m on board for any kind of Babe meeting. Y’all are spot on with this being like pen pals. It’s happening over a span of time, it’s multiple women, not just one-on-one, secretive. It’s a community, really. Like family! Anyone out there volunteering to do my laundry? Wait, my family won’t do that either …