At this time of year, we often pause to reflect on the past and speculate on the future. I was doing just that recently as I was pondering the theme for my entire Boomer Babes Rock! outreach, a ministry that includes books, speaking, a web site, a column for CWO and this daily blog comprised of seven amazing boomer babe sisters. I was thinking and praying about the coming year and in doing so I kept being drawn to the theme of Freedom.

I want to accept the challenge for total freedom—freedom from the bondage of past choices and freedom to be all God intends us to be—and therefore I have decided this will be the Boomer Babes Rock! theme for 2008. Breaking Free from the Past.

Yet I know for many of us freedom is often overshadowed by things that keep us in bondage. We all have our crosses to bear. For me, that particular cross is often the pain and heartache I experience as a mother. Many of you know from reading my sporadic Saturday postings here on the Boomer Babes Rock! Blog that I have an adult child who is an addict—an adult child I enabled for years. My son is currently in jail in Minnesota awaiting trial. He could be sent to a state penitentiary for a very long time.

Over the years I have had to learn the difficult lessons of defining my boundaries as they relate to my son. It’s been a long, difficult and painful journey. Yet I’ve managed to find freedom. I share that journey in my newest book releasing in February from Harvest House Publishers. Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children – Six Steps to Hope and Healing is the cry of a mother’s heart. A heart that has learned what freedom really means.

I believe freedom starts in our heart. First, we must believe there is hope for freedom. The Bible says, “…Christ in us, the hope of glory.” Yet, so often we forget that we have that hope and we listen to everything except our hearts.

Here’s an example I once heard: Think about freedom and all it takes as God being placed in the center of a box. When we choose freedom, we enter this box to be close to God. Then to fully grasp freedom, we must walk toward the center—closer to God. The problem is that most people are afraid, or more willing, to stand as close as possible to the sides of the box. There pressed against the sides, we can hear the outside voices – doubt, discouragement, negative thinking, etc. If instead, we would take just a few steps forward toward the center of the box—toward God—we would hear the voice of encouragement, positive direction, focus, and FREEDOM!

For enabling parents like me, it’s focusing everything on the needs of our dysfunctional adult children—getting caught up in their crisis lifestyle, bad habits, etc. For others, it’s staying with a job they hate. Or for some, it’s an addiction to something. The key to true freedom isn’t so much focusing on the problem but on the solution—and that starts with trusting in God enough to let him do what he does best—bringing hope and healing—doing miraculous things. The key to freedom is walking closer to the center of the box where God is standing.

You might be thinking, “Allison, it’s just not that easy. I’ve tried to break free from XXX for years and it just doesn’t work. I’m still in the middle of a mess.”

I know what you mean. I know what that’s like. I still want to rush to my son’s side and bail him out of the trouble he’s in. He’s 36-years-old yet I still want to protect him. But who am I to play God? Could it be that God, in his infinite wisdom, has a far grander plan in store for my son’s life as a result of this journey he is now walking? I pray often for freedom from self blame and condemnation, guilt, anguish and heartache. I struggle against clinging to the sides of the box.

I’ve struggled a lot this past year, wanting to move toward the sides of box during this holiday season, thinking if only I had done this or that, or such and such. I struggle with the reality that it may be years before I see my son as a free man. However, I truly believe that my son being in jail is just where God wants him for now. I’ve found freedom because I believe God will do a work through him and through this situation. I must move closer toward the center of the box where God is standing, and not remain glued to the sides where the pain from the past keeps me prisoner.

Maybe you don’t have dysfunctional adult children, yet, you still find yourself being bound to something, or someone, that controls you. Maybe it’s negative self-talk, financial problems, or discouragement that you will never reach your dreams.

I want to challenge our Boomer Babes Rock! Blog readers to make 2008 a year of freedom from past mistakes, past choices, and past drama. I want us to make 2008 a year of Setting Boundaries not only with adult children but also for all areas of our lives. Healthy boundaries, happy boundaries, and boundaries that bring us freedom and not oppression.

Working within this realm of freedom, I’m giving our Boomer Babes Rock! Blog team the rest of the month off. They have the freedom to enjoy the holidays, their families, and time to rest, refocus, refresh and get ready for a busy 2008.

We’ll be unveiling several new things within the Boomer Babes Rock! outreach after the holidays. One of those exciting new things will be our Boomer Babes Rock! Book Club. Each month I’ll pick a book to review. Then on the first Saturday of each month, I’ll give my review and begin an open discussion of a book. Each following Saturday of that month, we’ll continue the discussion – your comments are most welcome to make this work. Join me on Saturday, January 5 when I announce our first book.

We’re also unveiling a new look for our now bi-monthly Dream-Zine. Make sure you are subscribed to receive your free online copy by visiting our Boomer Babes Rock! web site.

On behalf of all of the Boomer Babes who blog here daily, Dotsie Bregel, T. Suzanne Eller, Eva Marie Everson, Cheryll Hutchings, Connie Pombo, and Keri Wyatt Kent, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a most blessed New Year. Make sure to visit each of their web sites to see what our Boomer Babe Bloggers are up to in 2008. You can click on their respective photos in the left sidebar to be directed to their individual web sites.

Thank you for visiting our blog, we appreciate you! Make this a GR8 2008! A New Year filled with healthy boundaries—with love, joy, peace, happiness, success, and freedom. We hope you’ll join us again next year.

God bless and keep you and yours – this season and always.

And that’s what’s on my mind today.

Allison Bottke

PS: For those wishing to send my son cards or letters, he can be reached at the following address. Please don’t send postage stamps, books or packages, he can only receive flat, letter-size mail at the jail. Include your name and address on the card or letter as they remove the envelopes before delivering his mail. He’s a young Christian…seeking to understand the Lord’s will for his life. He welcomes spiritual insight.

Christopher Smith
RCJ
P.O. Box 158
Faribault, MN 55021

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