Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Or wanting to spice up your “dating” life if you’re married? Today we are hosting Victorya Michaels Rogers, Dating Coach and Author of The Automatic 2nd Date during her Blog Tour.

Okay Boomer Babes, as a fellow Boomer I so know you rock! What a great season of life. You just have to accept and believe that—especially if you’re a Boomer Babe who is single. If love is what you seek, there is indeed still hope for you to find the love of your life! Dating at this time of your life may seem completely foreign, depressing and overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. I’ve written my latest book for fellow Boomers Babes to teach you easy-to-learn dating skills sure to make dating exciting, even fun again. Tweak a few of your dating skills and your next first date will not only see the real you, you’ll also compel him to automatically call you back for an automatic 2nd date! ~ Victorya Michaels Rogers, Dating Coach, Author, The Automatic 2nd Date

BBR: Your new book offers a unique dating approach. Why focus so much on getting a 2nd date?

VICTORYA: If you can’t get past the first date, you won’t be booking a honeymoon anytime soon. The sad thing is ladies who would really be great catches are just blowing it and scaring their dates away by making silly, careless mistakes on their first dates—like talking too much, obsessing on exes, talking about marriage, calling the guy before or after the first date. If they just tweak a few of their dating behaviors, they can transform their dating life without changing who they are! If these secrets become a habit, you can stop stressing about first dates and focus on your man and deciding if HE is the great catch and worth your time. When you do that, 2nd dates become automatic.

BBR: How can one back on the dating scene after a long absence adopt this hopeful attitude?

VICTORYA: Before you jump back into the world of dating allow yourself time to heal and reflect on where you’ve been. What was missing in your past love life? This is your season to really make it all about you. Love yourself first and deliberately pursue the life you always wanted! If you’re a single mom, obviously you need to seriously consider the needs of your children. But you also have to take care of you and come up with what you really want in a relationship before you start dating again. If you don’t know what you want then you’ll just date whoever takes notice and most likely that is was your problem in the past. You are valuable deserve to have a great relationship. But you have to believe that and know to recognize him when is comes along!

BBR: In Automatic 2nd Date you list many unique places to meet men. Tell us a few.

VICTORYA: I advise skipping bars and clubs and just plunging yourself into the social world around you—be it at your church, country club, charity, or a special-interest group at your community center. As you interact with more and more people, you will automatically find yourself around — and introduced to — available men.

BBR: What’s wrong with accepting last minute dates?

VICTORYA: The first 2 dates is when you establish how you expect to be treated without telling him how you want to be treated! If he calls you at the last minute, say something like “I’d love to, but I’ve just got something else going. How about a rain check?’ I don’t care if you’re home doing your laundry. He doesn’t need to know. You’re just not available at the last minute. By this, you’re establishing that you’re worth calling early and you’re worth paying money for a date (even if they’re only buying you coffee). They’re making an effort to spend money on you, because they want to spend quality time with you.”

BBR: In The Automatic 2nd Date you mention “Mirroring.” What is “mirroring” and does it really work? Wouldn’t your date figure out what you’re doing?

VICTORYA: If you really want to connect on that first date and quickly get on his wavelength, then you’ll want to master the art of mirroring your date. Mirroring is simply copying or mimicking your date’s tone, mood, pace, and even the position in which he sits (i.e., if he’s sitting back, you sit back; if he has his hands on the table, place your hands on the table). Mimicking his body-language is so subtle that your date probably won’t notice, yet he’ll find himself comfortable with you and want to see you again. The truth is that when two people really connect, the mirroring happens automatically. You’re just jump starting your connection by mirroring him deliberately.

BBR: What about women who are recently divorced or widowed? Isn’t it hard to hold back physically when you’re used to not holding back?

VICTORYA: The transition from being married and freely having sex with your spouse to holding back your passion as you jump back into the dating can be difficult for some ladies. But if you are looking for a relationship to develop, you must have restraint! Sometimes you just have to be tough. Getting that second date is about self control and holding back, not about letting loose and putting out. The physical always progresses rather than goes backward. Take it slow so there’s somewhere to go.

BBR: The first date is over. Now what? Does The Automatic 2nd Date offer advice on what to do AFTER the date? Such as can you call or text your date the next day to thank him?

VICTORYA: No, no no, don’t you dare call that man! When the first date is over, just relax and go on with your life, no matter how much you are into your new man. Do NOT call or text your date before he contacts you! Sure you can and should thank him at the end of the date, but no need for a follow-up thank you unless HE sends you a thank you gift. (Even if your romantic date was as incredible as a ride in a helicopter to see the lights of downtown, it is in your best interest NOT to call him the next day. If he’s treating you like that, you certainly don’t want to scare him away by chasing HIM.

BBR: What would you say to someone who went on a date, thought everything was perfect, yet never received a call back for a second date?

VICTORYA: If you haven’t heard back from your date within a couple of weeks, even if you were convinced it went wonderfully, think back about that evening. Did you really have anything in common? Did you talk too much about yourself? Did you “go too far” physically to the extent that you felt a little guilty the next day? Did you act too needy, too pushy, too bossy, too snotty or too boring? If any of this is the case, your date may have been scared away and wouldn’t tell you even if you asked. Don’t be too hard on yourself, though; just let it go. It was only one date and if he’s gone, that person wasn’t meant for you. At least by reviewing it honestly in your mind, you may be able to learn what to do on your next first date.

BBR: Victorya, where can our audience get your book as well as more dating tips?

VICTORYA: Yes, my website has a lot of additional tips and advice for single women! Check it out– it’s www.mantokeep.com. You can also order my books and learn about my coaching program. I hope I have helped you begin to see that dating does NOT have to be overwhelming, scary and stressful. In fact, believe it or not, you can actually enjoy the process if you take the time to find out what you REALLY want in a man, sharpen your dating skills and take risks. There is so much information I’d love to impart to you to make dating less anxiety filled, so feel free to visit my site anytime and/or check out my book The Automatic 2nd Date.

BBR: Thanks Victorya! I’m sure we can all use these dating tips whether we’re single and trying to find the right man for our lives, or we’re married and just want to add some extra zing to our relationship.

Visit Allison's Website