It all started when I almost killed my mom. . . (accidentally)
If you check my last post, you’ll learn that I wanted to spend more time with the people I love. One of those is my mom.
My father drove her to my home, about an hour away, and the fun began! We painted. We drove to a nature conservatory. We talked. We cooked. We went to a flea market.
On Sunday (after my post), my mom came into my bedroom as I got ready for church. She was struggling with her breathing. My mom is a life-long asthmatic, the soft wheezy sound is as much a part of my mom as her pretty smile.
But it appeared that the combination of an indoor kitty, dusty roads at the conservatory, sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, and the pollen from the trees and budding bushes of Green Country had done their magic.
She took a breathing treatment sometime in the night, but it didn’t work. We drove her home that morning. She was upset that our visit was cut short.
I just wanted her to be able to breathe better.
Then we got the call later that week. My mom had bronchitus and went to the doctor, and they had put her on the dreaded steroids.
Then we got another call on Friday. My dad found her nonresponsive on the couch at 1 a.m. She wasn’t getting as much oxygen as her body needed AND she had an allergic reaction to the plethora of medications in her body.
I rushed to the hospital and when I walked into emergency she was on a gurney, an oxygen mask on her face. My brother and sister were in the room with her, having sent my father home to sleep for a couple of hours.
“Has anyone prayed?” I asked.
My mom held up her hand and I sat beside her and prayed.
She was a sick, sick girl. Double pneumonia with renal issues from dehydration.
I stayed the day and night with her. She had an IV in her neck, both arms, and round the clock breathing treatments, as well as people who came in and routinely beat on her back to loosen the brick in her lungs. In spite of that, after the first night my mom woke up and said she had “magical dreams”. Ahh, the beauty of sleepy meds.
One morning a nurse pulled me aside. “Your mom is frail and elderly,” she said. “So, be careful when she’s ready to get out of bed. We don’t want her falling.”
My brother was behind me. We said, in unison, “She’s not elderly or frail.”
And she’s not. She can outwork any of us. She’s a very young 70, painting, traveling to Canada to live 6 months out of every year, working in her garden, mentoring a student at Tulsa Street School. If anything, I worried that she’d be out of bed soon trying to clean the hospital. It’s what she does best–cleaning (she tries really hard to restrain herself when she’s in my Dodge Durango and it’s “cluttered” - she’s gotten so much better!).
But she didn’t get out of bed. I had to help her sit up, take a shower, change. And that’s when it hit me. I almost killed my mom.
She came to my house because of my newfound resolution to spend time with my family. She was so delighted that I had extra time just for her that she came in spite of her reservations (something she told me later under the influence of meds). She knew it was a risk because of the season, but didn’t want to mess up the fun times ahead.
Ayee!
Mom is home now. Bruised from shots and IV’s. Still sicker than I am comfortable with. I called her doctor and home health is visiting to monitor her progress. I plan to visit her this weekend.
So, why can’t I sleep? Because for the first time I realized what I’d feel if I lost her, and I know that spending time with her, and dad, will need to be a bigger part of my life.
But next time, it will be at her home.
I missed you, bloggy friends, this past several days. It’s nice to be back. (Sorry about no pics. We’ve changed the system, and it just wouldn’t work for me. I tried until 4:14 a.m., but back to bed for Suz. Maybe I’ll figure it out later today.)
15 Comments
Oh Suzie! I’m so sorry! I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! And now I’m thinking about my mom, who’s still in her 60’s and energetic, but creeping up there on the age scale. Your mom sounds WONDERFUL, coming to you, wanting to be with you, enjoying you. You’re a good daughter, Suzie. Sounds like she loves you very much.
Oh my, now I’m nervous. My mom is coming in on Sunday to stay with me for a week. I don’ t want to kill her. Smile.
I’ve been trying to figure out what we’ll do with a whole week…the places we can visit, the restuarants we can try, the movies we can watch and when I mentioned scheduling activities to her, she told me to keep it simple. She admitted to me recently that she’s jealous of the time I spend in others lives, with others problems. It was hard for her to admit; she’s not a controling or manipulative person. She just wants time with me. Just time.
Aren’t we interesting creatures? When we’re young we want to cling to our mothers. When we’re teens through mid-life we want to conquer the world. Now my mom’s eighty and all she wants is time. With me. And honestly, I’m a little nervous about it. Weird.
And Suzie, that’s for writing to Sarah. It meant so much to her.
Praying for your mom’s recovery,
Carolyn
It’s good to laugh. : ) It’s funny how in the most serious moments, there have been laugh-out-loud moments, like when I woke up from the hard “bed” and I looked wild-eyed, hair smashed, pale, sleepless and she told me how magical the night was. There were lots of private moments where she shared things, and right now I’m still not sure if it was my mom or the drugs, only time will tell. But that’s not blog material, that was mom/daughter moments. : )
Your welcome, Carolyn. It was a pleasure to send her a note. I pray that she knows how much God loves her.
Suzie, I know what you mean about realizing the need to spend more time with our parents (mine are 75 now). My husband and I had a wonderful visit with my folks just a few weeks ago — just us and them, instead of the whole family… A sweet time for us all.
Suz,
wow, I hope she gets better quickly. who knew allergies could be so serious??!!
but I’m glad you could have some good mother/daughter moments in the midst of it!
good to hear from you again. great lead, by the way!
K
Suz,
How strange…my mom is a painter, has bronchitis, uses an inhaler, gets pneumonia (often), and she’s my very BEST friend. I told my mom that I can’t “breathe” without her!
So when you said, “I almost killed my mother,” I didn’t read any further. But I’m glad I did. Mom and I are making lots and lots of MEMORIES together; I’m so thankful for this time. We are planning to move out to California when hubby retires (soon!), and he gave me permission to move out ahead of time to be with my folks (I love that man of mine!). I checked out some places when I was there in January (everything is a foreclosure in California, so it’s a good time to buy!).
Thanks for this heartwarming post!
Something is wrong. This is the third time I am receiving this update to your blog.
Connie, I didn’t realize it would look like I wanted to kill my mom. Far from true. : ) I just realized I almost DID kill my mom, and I have lots of memories and time I still want to create and foster with her.
I’m battling bronchitis right now as we speak. Finally broke down to see a doctor yesterday. I’m 52 and relatively healthy and this has taken the wind out of my sails. I can fully appreciate what your sweet mommy is experiencing. Bless her heart. I can also say, having read your book about your relationship with your mom, that God has truly accomplished a wonderful thing in restoring your relationship. How blessed you are to have this time with her and how blessed we are that you share it with us.
As for tech issues, I can’t post a photo either. Not sure what is wrong. I’ll have our blog designer check it out.
Allison,
I was interviewed on a radio show recently and the host was skeptical of my relationship, not understanding what God has done in my family. We are just a “normal” family now, and that’s a blessing. My mom is loving, and kind, and I appreciate prayers for her, as she is struggling more today than yesterday. Thanks, prayer warriors.
Wow, that is scary. I hope she continues to improve. What a neat relationship you have with her.
Wow. What a time you’ve had. I’ll be praying. I have the same kind of experiences with my Dad, who is also 70 and an asthmatic. I hope you were able to catch up on your rest!
I have caught up. I plan to spend Monday with Mom and give dad some rest, and mom some help if she needs and wants it. This weekend I spent time with my DIL and son. She won some awards at college, so we went to the ceremony, then played tennis afteward. I’m so sore today I can barely walk. : ) Can anyone say “out of shape”?
Okay…wow. I’ve been begging my mother to come spend some time with me. Now, I’m thinking…maybe not. Like you, my mom is a young 73. She can outwork ten men in their 20s, then make a glass of sweet ice tea, plop on the sofa and say, “Whew! I’m tired!” (With her southern accent it comes out “tard!”
Sorry to hear about your scare, Suze! And that you just can’t upload photos. Hmmm…
I visited with her yesterday. Her smile is back. She and I took a walk. The sun did her good. We visited for several hours, and then I got the best hug. It’s great to see her on the mend. Maybe I didn’t kill her after all. . . : )