In a couple of weeks, I will be making my way up Interstate 87 North through the Adirondacks to the “Weekend of Hope” in Stowe, Vermont—the place—where I hung my first flag of “Hope and Healing” alongside the hand-painted flags of other cancer survivors from across the nation.
During that weekend I took a workshop on journaling, something I had done on and off most of my life—usually during times of uncertainty, pain or loss. But now I was journaling for a different reason.
Untapped emotions started to surface—painful and healing—all at the same time. I wrestled with enormous fear about whether to quit my job in the medical field to pursue my passion of writing full time.
As I calculated the risks, there were more reasons to stay than to leave: comfortable retirement, stability, excellent pay, and a secure future. It made no sense logically to leave!
But then I asked myself the question, What if time, money and resources didn’t matter, what would I be doing?
I had my answer.
During the closing ceremonies in the plush green Trapp Family Meadow, I saw survivors—like myself—with lives interrupted by this insidious disease. Some wore their bald heads proudly with painted tattoos of butterflies and flowers; others gracefully covered their heads with brightly patterned scarves, while others sported their new “do” with peach fuzz peering beneath their caps like the first daffodils of spring—signaling a new beginning!
In my hands lay the flag I had so carefully painted in bright yellow and green with the single word: “HOPE.” I asked God to grant me the strength to see my dreams become a reality and to release me from the fear that gripped me for so long.
It’s been three years since that blustery morning in May when I first pinned my flag of “Hope and Healing” on that rustic fence with all the other flags that ferociously waved in the face of Vermont’s Mount Mansfield. And this year I will return once again—not as a participant—but as a speaker to share my journey of “Writing to Heal.”
Yes, I took the risk. I quit my day job to pursue my passion. Do I regret my decision? Absolutely not!
This year, I will again stand beside countless cancer survivors during the closing ceremonies, and I too will place my flag of “Hope and Healing” on a rope to be carried up the mountain where they will remain until the Vermont snow covers them with a blanket of white. But they will emerge again in the spring—along with the smiling daffodils—as a symbol of dreams realized, passions pursued, and hope that continues to prevail.
As the events of this week have unfolded at Virginia Tech, our hearts go out to the families and students who have faced such unimaginable sorrow. Our thoughts and prayers are with all those affected by this great tragedy. And as a nation we pray for HOPE and HEALING.
16 Comments
Ah Connie girl,
You are like a breath of fresh air on a spring morning. Hope… it’s what we all need in life. And from my experience with loss and sorrow, it is found in the Son of God, Jesus Christ. He is my hope for today and for all my tomorrows.
I’m glad you made the decision to follow your passion to write. It has not only brought healing, but is bringing hope to others as well. I’m so glad to know you, but not only that, to call you my friend.
Blessings on your trip to Vermont. My thoughts and prayers are with you, as well as our nation and the families whose lives will never be the same as a result of the Virginia Tech tragedy.
Walking by faith, not by sight,
Susan
http://www.shareyourgrief.blogspot.com
Amen I say, Amen!
Allison and Susan,
There’s been a song in my head for the last couple of days, and this morning I finally found the CD by Casting Crowns: “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, and pray…”
Isn’t it wonderful to know that there is something that we can do for our dear brothers and sisters in pain…PRAY!
God bless you both!
Connie, when people told me they were praying for me, that meant the most, more than anything really, because I knew that it was going to be God and the power of prayer that got me through. When His people pray, God works in ways we cannot even imagine… more than we could ever dream…
Susan,
It’s interesting that the medical field is just starting to realize the power of prayer. Heart patients that are prayed for do better and have an overall better outcome! But then the article goes on to say that they can’t explain it “medically.” Umm…interesting–huh?!? I got a kick out of that one!
Thanks for stopping by, Susan, and sharing!
Hugs,
Connie
Connie,
I am picturing you placing your flag of hope, and another picture enters my minds…the young men and women on the campus of Virginia Tech as they write there messages of hope and healing on the large “writing boards” set up on the campus lawn. I watched one girl on tv pour her heart and soul into her message. The students are writing on blogs too…some of the messages are simply beautiful. Writing is a huge part of healing…and I am so glad you made the choice you did! I’ll pray for your trip to Vermont. May you reach others with your words of compassionate wisdom. Go with God!
AJ,
Thank you for writing so eloquently as you just did about the power of writing to heal. I, too, watched in wonder as the students came with flowers, candles, and messages of “hope and healing.” My oldest son is a teacher in a huge high school and Jon is away at college, and both called to see how I was doing! Isn’t that ironic? They know I “worry,” but I keep their baby dedication pictures on my desk just to remind me that my “babies” aren’t mine–they are His! It’s a daily process of surrendering them back to the “One” who calms all our fears.
Thanks, AJ, for stopping by to share your thoughts!
The most eloquent part of your chat this Wednesday for me was the gorgeous picture of those daffodils beside the rock…
He is our Rock upon which we may trust at all times…good and bad…and the sweet fragrance comes from those flowers He permits to bloom through them as we yield….
Oh, someone got it! Yeah!! Thanks Jeanne (I’ll have to send you some daffodils–okay?).
As a photographer and a writer I can’t separate them–they blend together–because they were part of my journey of healing.
When I see the photos on the VA Tech website (one especially grips me). It’s of two cadets–huband and wife–standing tall in uniform with her hand placed carefully on his back.
Yes, you’re right, Jeanne. God is our rock and the enduring fragrance of Christ is what we are to be to those who are hurting: sorrow to daffodils, ashes to roses…only God, our “Rock,” can produce such beauty.
Jeanne, you are such an insightful writer…where’s that book you’re writing?!?!?!?
I’ve never heard of the “Weekend of Hope”, it sounds like it would be very moving. I had skin cancer removed from my face last year, I had it for years but didn’t know it was cancer. My family doctor thought it was eczema… it was when my son had a appointment with a dermatologist that while we were there I asked him about it. He looked at it and in front of my kids told me it looked like cancer. I never took my son back to that doctor, but that day changed my life.
I’ve never been a “sun worshipper”, I’m very “white” year round, but it’s expecteded that the damage was done in my teenage years. I am very careful when outside in the sunshine, and even though I may be pale, I’ll at least look younger longer right?
All that’s left from that time in my life is a scar. It has faded somewhat, and I don’t notice it most of the time… but it is a good reminder to take care of myself.
Daffodils are such a happy flower, mine are coming up in my garden, I always look forward to their arrival.
Did you know unless you use a special bulb cut flower food you cannot mix daffodils with other flowers? Even then, the daffodils have to stand alone for at least 12 hours before you mix them in a vase.
It’s best not to mix them, they release a latex from their stems that will kill other flowers.
Which reminds me I need to get out and clean my garden today… it’s susposed to be really warm and outside is the only place to be!
Lisa,
Thanks so much for sharing about skin cancer which is so prevalent. I had a basal cell on my leg taken off and it was in a place not exposed to sun (so when I go outside it’s hilarious–I’m always dressed for winter!). But I was a California girl, slathered on that baby oil, and baked in the sun. In college we used to have contests: who could get the darkest tan (who knew?). Now as a “boomer,” I’m paying the price. I’m so thankful you caught yours early (and shame on that doctor for saying the “C” word in front of your son–that’s devastating to a child!). I give a course to resident doctors on “What to Say and How to help when Someone is Diagnosed with Cancer” (hopefully the next generation of physicians will be more “caring” with their words!).
Yes, the “Weekend of Hope” is the highlight of the year for me (there’s even an Amtrak train (Train of Hope), that leaves from Washington, DC for those who can’t afford the trip to Stowe or just want to have more fun (I hear you don’t get much sleep on the train!).
Thanks, Lisa, for stopping by. God bless you!
Hugs!
That’s interesting about daffodils (the stand alone flower!). I’ll have to remember that; I guess they truly love their freedom!
I try to cover up what I can without being too warm and wear a hat if I’m going to be out for too long… I’m ok with the winter look too, it covers more… : )
I remember a question someone once asked me at the end of a long hot summer…. “Why are you so white?”
My response… (with a smile of course while trying to bit my tongue from being rude) “I was pretty much born this way”
…. and if I’m not white, I’m red from a burn… I’d rather be “ghost like” than suffering, thank you very much….
A beautiful brown tan looks so healthy… but it’s so not if it comes from too much time in the sun. I figure I’ll still look young when my friends have that “leather look” from years of tanning. And hopefully my diligence will keep my skin, cancer free.
Good for you, Lisa! My heart goes out when I see these teenagers at the gym laying in tanning beds. I want to grab them up and say, “Do you know what you’re doing?” Yes, a tan does look nice (?), but if I absolutely have to (I can get it from a bottle!).
We lived in Japan for 3 years–while I was growing up–and the women always carried parasols when they were in the sun. Look how beautiful their skin is!
Thanks so much for your thoughts this morning–timely and important–now that the sun is finally make its debut!
Hugs!
Connie, you alone spread hope for those battling and suffering with cancer simply by sharing this post. God is at work within you dear friend. Continue to carry His message of hope.
Your post reminded me of all the hope and healing the VT community needs today as they gather for their first day of classes. May we remember to offer prayers for all of them throughout this day and onward.
Thank you, Dotsie! As this event has grown over the years, it’s so amazing to see the vast amount of volunteers it takes to see that every detail is attended to during the conference. The way “Stowe” wraps its arms around cancer survivors is truly amazing. Lodging at their beautiful resorts is “free” to cancer survivors and their families (first time attendees!). What generosity this small community extends to the nation and the world!
Peace people
We love you