When the kids visit - then leave - I cry. It happened again yesterday. Our youngest was home for a week. We gathered with family and friends, watched movies, and shared lunches and dinners. He showed me his photos and videos on his lap top, and let me listen to his friend’s music on his computer. He had his buddies here for a cookout. They laughed and carried on sharing their own college stories. He had lunch with his sister and Pop-Pop, since he hadn’t been around for Pop-Pop’s birthday. He opened his heart and gave me a peek into his college life. He’s happy. He’s learning awesome stuff about filmmaking, he’s growing, and he’s having the time of his life. He’s here – and he’s gone.
As he leaves for the airport with Ross, I suck it up and in, hug him tightly, tears welling, squeak out a few words, bravely wave, make sure they’re out of sight, enter the house…and empty the well within.
I’m blessed. The only time I really cry these days is when my kids leave. The tears roll for the times we’ve had, their futures, their safety, my love for them, and then everything else enters in. Tears roll for all the injustice in the world, for my friends who have lost brothers or mothers, friends who are caring for loved ones with cancer, or trying to raise teens that will grow into respectful young adults, but feel like they are running into a brick wall. The tears stream endlessly. I sob. My dog looks and cocks her head at me as if to say, “What’s wrong?” I empty the well with crumbled tissues surrounding me.
Trust me; I’m happy for the kids. I’m tickled at their independence. I’ve always raised them to be independent, and I’ve know they belong to Him first. I’ve prayed for their independence, but now that’s it’s here, it hurts, especially when they leave.
Do you cry when your kids leave? Does it ever stop?
The tears are gone. My face is dry.
I celebrate because he’s safely in his college nest and because Ross and I are in our empty nest.
Life is as it should be and I’m grateful again.
11 Comments
My children are still at home, but already I am thinking of those times they will leave and go off to do bigger and better things. It feels like time has sped up and the time together as a family grows so short. I’d like to rewind and start over. Ok, now that makes me cry.
Thanks for reminding me to savour these times together, being a mom is the best part of who I am.
Lisa, being a mom is the best part of who I am. Love it! Time really passes quickly when you are having fun. Our first is graduating from college in a couple weeks. I can hardly believe it. Continue to cherish these days when they are all home with you!
Yes, I cry every time I have to say good-bye to my kids. I blame it on my grandma - we always made fun of her for crying over us, so now it’s payback!
Great post, Dotsie.
Dotsie,
I needed a good cry this morning and you sure did it for me!
Yes, I cry, every time! I stand outside and wave until Jon’s car is out of sight, close the door, and the tears flow–sometimes for hours. I’m so glad I’m not crazy and that we’re all in the same “boat.” It’s funny, after a couple of days, I’m back in my routine again and the silence fills the empty walls of constant laughter and music. I guess I love the fact that we did our “job” well and that the tears are also tears of joy–to see them as grown adults making their place in the world and loving it!
The first time Jon said, “I’m going back ‘home.’” (And he meant the “dorm,” I nearly had a total meltdown.) But life is bittersweet and “tears” cleanse the soul. So I say, “Keep on crying and smiling through the tears, ladies!”
Best post of all time–thank you, Dotsie!
Hugs!
Tracy, we do what we learn. Great point. How old are your kids?
Connie said:
I guess I love the fact that we did our “job” well and that the tears are also tears of joy–to see them as grown adults making their place in the world and loving it!
Amen sistah! Absolutely. Tears for all reasons, good and bad…and all seasons in their lives…and ours.
My two boys are 24 and 18 - both going on 50 at times, 10 at others! Ha! Thanks for asking!
Tracy, great comment. Don’t we all act that way?!
Wow, you are speaking my current language. My first-born went off to college this fall and all year I’ve had the privilege of picking him up and dropping him off for breaks and holidays–they don’t allow freshman to have cars on campus or atleast they didn’t…
He was just home this past weekend and said, “Hey mom, can I take the volvo back to school.” (Thank goodness he didn’t say “home”, Connie. I would have keeled over.) “They give us a parking pass just for the last couple weeks. You won’t have to come pick me up.”
Wait a minute. I thought. I love picking you up. I love chatting with you the entire ride home. I love having you all to myself for two whole hours. I love hearing your thoughts about God, relationships, and cafateria food.
But I relented. “Sure Bud, you can have the volvo.”
And I stood in my driveway and fought back the tears as I watched him drive away. Then I let them flow.
Thanks for reminding that I’m not alone, Dotsie.
Carolyn,
I got goose bumps nearing the end of your response. Those car rides are special. And good for you for letting him spred his wings!
Our two sons have to fly back and forth most of the time so one of my favorite aspects of them coming home is when we walk towards one another at the airport. It’s so refreshing to see their faces again!
What a blessing to have positive experiences with our adult children. Alas, mine are considerably different these days and I know I’m not alone. Thank you, Dotsie, for sharing this uplifting post with us. I for one need to hear things like this as I continue to pray for my son to make a u-turn in his life. You are blessed indeed.
Thank you Allison. One day at a time. Joining you in prayer for your son’s u-turn.