Curs-ed Insomnia

A bleary-eyed Suzie sits in front of this laptop today. It’s Day #12 in a string of sleepless nights. I’m exhausted, a little cranky, and considering a hammer to the head (a light tap) to help me sleep tonight. It all started when they removed my ovaries 17 years ago. . .

When I was young I slept. In fact, I was famous for my sleeping ability–though the fame was only in my small circle.

“That Suzie, she could lay down on an ironing board and fall asleep in minutes.”

I never tried the ironing board, but I think they were right. I could sleep anywhere, any time, and within seconds of lying my head on a pillow (or no pillow).

When I had a hysterectomy at the tender age of 32, I also became hormoneless. It’s why they performed the surgery in the first place. My cancer was estrogen receptive and I was a estrogen factory, as are most women in their early thirties.

I woke up from the surgery and it was 1,000 degrees in the room.

“Can someone turn down the heater?” I asked.

My family looked at me with blank stares.

“It’s June, Suzie”.

“Then turn up the air, please.”

More blank stares. I noticed they were all wrapped in blankets. Apparently the room was freezing.

I had 70 hot flashes that first day. Surgically-induced menopause hit me with a vengeance.

“What is like?” my mom asked.

Yes. I went through menopause before my mom.

Eventually the hot flashes subsided. I found that Vitamin E was helpful. I learned what to do and what not to do, and here I am 17 years later, still hormoneless, but healthy, whole, vibrant (I think!) and hot flashes hit maybe once a day or so.

But insomnia was a partner to the hot flashes. I’ve worked hard on that as well and I’ve learned how to keep to a regular sleeping schedule, to stay away from TV and the computer after a certain hour, how to let my body know rest is coming, how to nap. I’m a great sleeper and I respect that I need it. We all do.

But every once in a while I hit a cycle and I don’t know what to do. I’m in one now. 

Last night I kept my eyes closed and I rested, though I couldn’t sleep. I glanced at the clock at 1, at 2, at 5, at 6. I finally fell asleep somewhere around 7. I woke up at 9:50.

The other day I spoke at a leadership conference. I had 3 hours the night before. As I drove home, I asked God for help. “Just let me make it home,” I prayed, exhausted to the core.

It will break. It always does. When it does, I will snooze for a full day and then somehow, magically, I will be back on track, getting my 8 hours of zzzzz’s every night.

So, here I am, Boomer Girls, not asking you to feel sorry for me (because I don’t feel sorry for myself), but I am asking for your stories about sleepy time, or what you have found to help in those times when you just can’t fall asleep, or great links to sites for those who struggle with sleeping.

And if you want to send a prayer my way, I’d be okay with that, too.

Snuz (this is what my kiddos call me, which is a little ironic, don’t you think?)

 




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15 Comments

  1. Posted July 18, 2008 at 9:38 am | Permalink

    Suzie, just thought I’d let you know you’re not alone in the sleep troubles department. I’ve been going through cycles the past couple of years where I wake up too early. I know it’s because my hormones are all out of whack, too. I don’t have any helpful tips so I will also be interested to see what others may have to say.

    Hope you sleep good tonight!!

  2. Posted July 18, 2008 at 10:00 am | Permalink

    Thanks, Cheryl. I’m counting on my boomer bloggy friends. Otherwise, it’s hammer time! : )

  3. Posted July 18, 2008 at 1:23 pm | Permalink

    Gosh Suzie…my nights where I can’t get to sleep until 2-3 o’clock are nothing. I’m not sure what my sleepless night are from, except that I have too much to do and too many things racing through my brain.

    I usually take something — I’ve tried health sleep aids and OTC stuff. Most just take the edge off enough to let me consider relaxing.

    I learned years ago to not fight the sleeplessness. I promised myself years ago to not be miserable just lying in bed trying to go to sleep when it refused to come. Sometimes I lie there for a little while in that half awake/half asleep state, but that turns to self-torture, so I often get up do something on the computer or work and then go back to bed when I do get sleepy.

    Recently, I’ve been going outside and sitting or lying out on my deck about 9 p.m. and just listening — to the neighborhood sounds and to whatever God might want to say. Some nights I’m out there for an hour, others for a couple of hours.

    Hey…if you can’t sleep…call me. Chances are I’ll be awake too!

  4. Posted July 18, 2008 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

    Suzie…you can also trying rocking yourself to sleep. I’d recommend using little rocks :)

  5. Posted July 18, 2008 at 2:45 pm | Permalink

    I’m going to try eating earlier, shutting the hype down earlier (TV or Internet) and reading (I just returned from the library with a stack of fiction) and going to sleep when I’m tired for now, even if that is 8 p.m. : )

  6. Posted July 18, 2008 at 10:31 pm | Permalink

    Hi Suzie,

    I’ve used a natural homeopathic remedy called Sleep Aide - my MIL uses it too and it works great. My DH takes melatonin and it works better than sleeping pills. I also wear ear plugs and that helps tremendously.

    Do you ever just sit and think? Don’t write, or read, or pray, just think. It might help. You have a lot of transitions going on in your life right now.

    Praying for you get to catch some major Z’s soon.

  7. Posted July 19, 2008 at 5:01 am | Permalink

    Most of my life I’ve lain awake for hours before being able to sleep. Unless I’ve been physically strenuous that day, more than usual. It came to the point of taking melatonin before bed (which works well). This last year I’ve been sleeping well for two reasons. 1) My husband was diagnosed with sleep apnea and uses a CPAP machine to sleep. This means he’s not snoring all night. Neither does he stop breathing repeatedly all night. Doctors say those things keep the spouse up. Does Richard snore? Stop breathing at night? I’m guessing no.

    2) I was diagnosed as ADD and am taking Adderall XR, a time released amphetamine. It does its job well, doesn’t make me jittery, keeps me from dozing off all day, but when it stops working at night, I shut down. I realize this probably isn’t an option for you, though. Sorry. Unless you are scatterbrained and have trouble focusing. We have a strong family history of it.

    Hope someone is able to help. I have a good friend who struggles with sleep deprivation and hasn’t gotten it figured out, so I’ll be checking back to hear what others say as well.

  8. Posted July 19, 2008 at 7:43 am | Permalink

    I slept last night. Some of the things I did helped - eating earlier, shutting down electronic stimulation, and going to bed when my body signaled it was tired. I woke up a few times but went to sleep right after each time. Yes!

  9. Posted July 19, 2008 at 1:06 pm | Permalink

    Suz
    Randy Frazee’s book Making Room For Life describes his struggles with sleep problems. his doctos told him either go on sleep meds, or change your lifestyle. he changed his lifestyle and that made the difference. Of course, men don’t have to deal with the hormonal stuff. But his book is worth reading.

  10. Posted July 19, 2008 at 2:26 pm | Permalink

    My lifestyle is pretty amazing. I’m my own boss, so I can nap if I want to, take any gigs that I want to–or not. : ) I think it’s totally hormonal. I’m going to continue to work on this. Just having one night’s good sleep is invigorating. : ) Love ya, Keri. I am always open to reading a new book!

  11. Posted July 19, 2008 at 3:44 pm | Permalink

    I am in pain a lot, and it keeps me awake at night. I take Melaleuca’s Rest EZ. It’s all herbal and I’m not groggy the next day. It has Valerian root, passion flower, hops, and spearmint. It acts immediately and I take one or two capsules depending on how much pain I’m in. :-) Hope that helps!

  12. Posted July 19, 2008 at 4:33 pm | Permalink

    Oh, that sounds like a possibility. I love that it’s all natural.

  13. Posted July 21, 2008 at 5:52 am | Permalink

    Karla, I love Melaleuca products! Never used that one though.

    Suz, try taking a hot bath before turning in. I do this every night and it totally relaxes me. The hot water must do something to my system because I sink into bed and melt right into the sheets. I highly recommend it.

  14. Sandra Ugoala
    Posted July 23, 2008 at 3:49 pm | Permalink

    I definitely feel you. I also had a hysterectomy and am better for it, but the flashes, especially the sleepless night are off the chain. I just wish I could get a good night’s sleep and wake feeling refreshed and renewed. Not! So what I do is pray. I use those sleepless times to pray for everybody I can think of and to see what God has to say to me in the wee, silence of the early morning. Truly it is time not wasted.

  15. Posted July 23, 2008 at 3:55 pm | Permalink

    Thanks, Sandra! We will pray together. : )