It all started when Connie received over 20 comments in her post. . . again.
You’ve heard of different kinds of envy. But perhaps comment envy is the newest kid on the block.
All of us here at BBR watch each week as Connie receives bajillions of comments (not envious, not envious, not envious).
Does it matter? In real life, it doesn’t. In fact, it’s very cool to meet the new people coming to BBR and to participate in the ongoing dialogues. We love it!
And BBR’s are writers. We sit in front of a computer and write about topics all day long without feedback. We choose to work in a field where feedback is rare.
This week is a great example. I wrote articles for Focus on seniors (teens) and graduation and how to help tweens share their faith with their peers, and an article for Proverbs 31 Magazine on “Where Do I Fit?”. I also worked on a proposal for a book about forgiveness and the power of God’s pen on the stories of our lives (want to e-mail me your story?).
There was no one standing over my shoulder with a word of encouragement or even a negative word to spur me on. There wasn’t a paycheck in a slim envelope on Friday. There were no bosses or co-workers with a friendly nod or a competitive atmosphere. I simply wrote, while I battled the writing vs. loading the dishwasher/picking lint off my shirt/petting the cat/playing Internet Spades syndrome.
Maybe that’s why comments are so powerful, whether on a blog or in person.
Just this past week a younger woman stopped me in the hall at church.
“You wrote that book for me,” she said.
She was talking about The Mom I Want To Be.
“I’ve read four chapters, and I want you to know it’s changing me.” She grabbed me and gave me a ferocious hug. And then she told me her story, which I always love to hear.
I know she thought I had blessed her, but what she didn’t understand is that she also encouraged me.
In the silence of the writing world, her words where loud and clear. I rejoiced once again that I get to do what I do — regardless of inconsistent paychecks, books remaindered, a quiet home office, and the roller coaster you climb on as a freelance writer.
Do we love comments here at BBR? You betcha!
Do we appreciate each and every one of you who drop by? Yes we do.
Many of you are bloggers. Share your stories about blogging. Why do you do it? Have you met new people? Do you ever have comment envy?
Suz
22 Comments
Wasn’t it you, Suzie, who wrote about the teen girl and the leering boys in the changing room? (I’ve gone through the archives and can’t find the post) You’re no stranger to comments, for sure. Your writing is thought provoking, powerful (but I know you didn’t post this for strokes - just remembering the Rise of Raunch and the effect it had on me).
I blog and understand the comment envy. Because I blog, I empathize. I visit other blogs and leave comments. My world has opened up because I blog. I’ve discovered points of view (in others’ blogs) I didn’t know existed. I find myself agreeing with people I never would have in the past. Blogging rocks.
And I get the whole laundry distraction thing. I’m in grad school online and I’m quite easily distracted by housework (never thought I’d say THAT). Also quite easily distracted by surfing blogs.
That said, I need to get back to my homework.
I wrote that article for Today’s Christian Woman, Flea. And I also mentioned it on here when it happened because of how it impacted me, and because of what I hoped might happen among woman as a result.
I’m part of a group of women trying to impact our girls in our community. The blog for that outreach is http://vision2011.wordpress.com. It’s not faith-based, but definitely one of the most God things that I get to do.
Thanks for the comment, Miss Flea (what is your real name?). : )
Suzie
Suzie, I am a freelance writer, too, and totally understand the desire for feedback — and the blessing it can be when someone comments on my blog or lets me know in some other way that something I have written has touched or helped them in some way. It helps inspire me to keep on keeping on with that solitary writing life you describe so well.
I just started blogging in September. I would describe it as an inspirational/devotional blog, and I originally started it with the purposes of growing as a writer (it’s working — I write more new stuff now rather than spending a majority of time in revision) and also becoming more visible to readers (also working — have “met” at least one new person and can see from my statcounter that there are readers from places I don’t have a personal connection to). What I didn’t realize until I actually started it was the great ministry potential it affords me. It’s so exciting to think that God can use my blog to encourage someone at just the right moment or even help draw someone to faith in Him. What an incredible blessing!
All that said, I suffer from comment envy, too, from time to time
I think people are just too busy to take time to comment. Speaking of busy, I better keep moving! 
Cheryl
I struggle with comment envy too I guess . . . so I completely disabled comments on my blog! I just wanted to focus on the writing bit for a while. Amazingly, I still get comments from people who take the time to email me and those are almost more meaningful to me. I still enjoy reading and commenting on other blogs though . . . like this one!
I’ve been blogging for over 3 years now and I love it for many reasons, but especially for the people I’ve met.
Suzie! I’ll visit the site this afternoon (Fridays are insane).
My name is Flea. Okay, I’ve been called Flea since birth, but the actual is Felicia. No one forgets Flea. Eva Marie announced, when she met me, that all the writers in the room would be working out ways to use Flea in a story, then made me tell how I got the name. Which is a long story all by itself. At that time I thought I wanted to be a writer, but didn’t know what to write. Grad school is slowly giving me that direction. Yay!
I need to be in some kind of ministry here - nearly a year in a new state and I’m not doing anything other than volunteer at my son’s school. Ministering to teachers, I guess. You’ve piqued my interest.
Flea it is, then. : ) I thought it was a blogger ID.
Diane, I went to your site and wanted to leave a comment, and was surprised when I couldn’t. I searched and searched. : ) So, maybe soon you’ll put it back on.
Cheryl, blogging is totally a ministry of this day and age. I have two personal blogs (Real Teen Faith: http://realteenfaith.com and Dare to Believe: http://daretobelieve.org) and of course I blog here, but also in the blog I mentioned above which is a much different type of blog for 9th grade freshmen girls in my community through our Women of Vision Freshman Challenge program.
Blogging will continue to grow, but also narrow as niche groups like BBR are formed. I told the WOV, who weren’t sure about a blog in the beginning, that today’s blog is yesterday’s website. It’s interactive. It’s relational. It’s much more than just info.
Again, ladies, we (I) at BBR appreciate you so much.
Suzie, Suzie, Suzie,
Half those comments are mine, silly girl! (Smile!)
Hugs!
See, a group blog like this is so different. We are communicating right here. After a while you kind of get to know people. On a personal blog . . . you have people you don’t know from adam leave comments, which are appreciated - yes, but I felt so obligated to go visit these “strangers” in their “homes” (i.e. blogs). So I was wasting all this time blog-hopping. That’s really why I disabled the comments. I like to think people can come read with no obligation because it’s really the writing part i enjoy and if a thought is burning in their pocket - there’s always email
Flea . . . your name story cracks me up! I was wondering the same thing. Love the name Felicia but Flea is just plain cute!
Suzie - it’s really neat that you view your blogs as a ministry. Gives me some food for thought!
I agree. We do get to know people. I hope that sometime we can start having BBR get-togethers around the nation, and even one day having BBR conferences. : )
Suzie
Oooo! BBR conferences would be SO COOL!!! Wait, I’m not a Boomer Babe! Stink. So don’t put any age limits on this, okay?
Suzie, how much traffic does you WOV site get for its target age range? When I talk to my 14 year old daughter, who has a blog, about her own blog, she complains that none of her friends will read her blog or even email. The 13 and 14 year olds seem to think blogs and email are so “5 minutes ago”. When I ask her how on earth they contact each other, short of cell phones (that’s where we’ve drawn a line for now), she says it’s all about MySpace and FaceBook.
Talking to late teen, early 20’s cousins and friends in other states, they agree. In fact, I email nine ways to Sunday (I LOVE my electronic pen pals!), but they never respond. When I leave messages on their FaceBook walls, I get almost immediate responses from them.
So, I don’t mean to stir anything up. I guess I’m just wondering how well your site is attended. The posts seem to be written for the girls. I’m wondering if there’s a lot of mom traffic or what? Maybe especially curious because my girl will be a freshman next year.
Miss Suzie, I have written the official version of how I got my name, for you to read at your leisure, at my blog. I’m a bit long-winded when I write, so I apologize in advance. I’m more long-winded when I think - be grateful you’re not in my head.
Flea, The WOV is a brand new blog that we just started, but we work with 450 freshmen and its more of an informational blog that ties in with our monthly meetings in 4 area high schools.
BUT, I have a blog at Real Teen Faith (http://realteenfaith.com). It had 160 hits yesterday from 110 teenagers. I get somewhere between 3,000 to 4,500 hits a month. They are reading it and sending e-mails, but not necessarily commenting.
But I’m also on Facebook, MySpace, and ShoutLife. : ) I go where teens go because that’s where I can connect and minister.
Suz
Very very cool. I’m glad to know that I’m wrong about the blogosphere and teens.
Of course, I still like to read books made out of paper. I’m so glad God’s touched your heart with teens. I’m going to send your links to my daughter, if you don’t mind.
Hi Suzie,
I am so encouraged by this post when you said that you were so distracted when writing, I am working on my first book and feel like I can never get a quiet moment!
If you can be distracted and still write such great stuff, there’s hope for me yet!
I had to laugh about the comment situation- isn’t that such a blogger thing?! Would anyone outside this blogging world get that?!
I have been blogging since last spring and just love it! It is an outlet for me. Most of my posts are devotional. I don’t share a lot about my family, but I love to share about the Lord and what He is doing in my life.
I have met some wonderful people and actually “met” some of them in real life, very fun!
I love this site and get here as often as possible. I have found recently that I don’t have as much time to “go blogging” as I used to, but I love to when I can.
Blessings Suzie!
Sue
Sue, It’s a real battle, something I push through, but am working harder to find a good solution. I have too many words in me not to write, you know? : )
I went by your site. Awesome! I left a comment, and am excited to be in your drawing. People, get over there. She’s giving away music and coffee (or hot chocolate if I win). : )
Comments are kind of like a door. People will only walk through it if they see that it is open. The nature of the original post has an impact on what kind of comments you will get. Topics that are open for discussion will help the most. Cold hard facts tend to stiffle discussion, unless people are encouraged to tell their own interpretation of the facts. It is when people agree the most that there is the least reason to communicate.
Suzie, what a fun post. The study I am doing right now is on encouragement. Just this morning I read that a little encouragement gives endurance to others. How about that? How timely.
I would love to give you a little encouragement. I believe that what you are doing for our young girls is priceless. I can’t think of another woman who should be doing this work because you are so full of the spirit, it’s infectious…and that’s what our young gals need. They need a leader just like you!
I don’t blog at my site, but I do have a huge forum community with over 60 topics for boomer women at http://www.boomerwomenspeak.com. The site is five years old and womenpost 24/7. However, I recall when I launched it. I would run to the computer to see if anyone had posted anything. It was a hoot. Every now and then someone would leave a message and I would get over the top, excited. Now there are women there all the time, but during those days, I had hope that someone was reading and not commenting, which was still okay with me because I wanted a place for us to be able to share our voices and learn from other’s stories.
I can see how many lurkers we have at BWS. There are MANY. Lots of people like to read and learn, but don’t want to respond because it takes time and they also think they have to write beautifully. I say there are no red pencils in our forums. I probably have the most typos, but it doesn’t bother me.
Anyway, we must have faith that women are reading and taking what they need. Isn’t that why we write?
It is why we write, Dotsie. : ) I also love what youare doing with Boomers. It’s exciting to see how God directs each person to a certain field where they can reach and connect with people.
My comment envy post is tongue-in-cheek, but it’s also very real. We need to know that someone is there, and the connections that are happening on BBR are good. I see good things for these connections in the future, but also am grateful for them now.
Do y’all ever feel like the people in Whoville, from Horton hears a Who? Remember them all shouting, “We are here! We are here! We are here!” Boomer Babes - we hear you!
I SOO wanted to be the 20th person leaving a comment - YAY!
Sometimes I think people think I’m a stalker when I leave comments on blogs regularly. I just identify with all of you special ladies so much, and I read you regularly! Sometimes I leave the site laughing, other times in tears - but it’s always with a great feeling of “I’m not alone in this world!”
So even if I don’t leave a post on a particular blog, I’ve probably still read it!
Thanks, Tracy and Flea. We hear you too.
You rock, sweet Suze! Check out my posting today on Saturday, December 15th for more thoughts on “Comment Envy.”