Do you have a best friend?
Cancer was a mixed blessing in so many ways. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. I needed to get rid of some toxic “best” friends. And in doing so, God placed some amazing people in my path. One of them was Lorraine.
I spoke at her church four years ago as part of a mentoring orientation coffee and I remember thinking, “Umm…we have to be sisters separated at birth.”
We had so much in common: we married into HUGE Italian families; we both have “boys”; we speak Italian; we’re the same age, and we’re breast cancer survivors. But the best part of our relationship is God answered my desire for a prayer partner.
When the phone rings and I see the Delaware prefix, I immediately clear my desk, shut down the computer, and get out my prayer journal.
To share everything we have in common, would take over 50,000 words (a book!), so I’m giving you the Reader’s Digest version.
Last week we met for lunch at the Hotel DuPont in Wilmington, Delaware (it’s been on my “shopping” list for a while, but since it was in the Green Room I wanted to wait for a special occasion). It was Lorraine’s birthday and my “Celebration of Life Day” (12 years of SURVIVING and THRIVING).
When I made the reservations, I told the hostess it was a birthday celebration.
When Lorraine wasn’t looking, they lit the candle and sang “Happy Birthday!” It was one of those moments where you want to stop the clock because you know it’s more than just another year of life; we’re celebrating all the other parts that everyone else misses because they haven’t walked in our shoes.
The part about living in the present moment; doing the things we’ve always wanted to do, and the best gift of all—seeing our boys through safe passage into adulthood. So there’s no need to make a wish before the candle is blown out—we both have our wish!
We savored the moment, counted our blessings, and went to the ladies’ room!
Did I fail to mention, you need a code for the women’s restroom? Excuse me, but my bladder doesn’t need a three-digit number to get in the door. When it says, “Go, it means NOW!”
So there I was, on my knees, trying to read the numbers to the code box.” Thankfully, Lorraine remembered the code and opened the door (that’s what best friends do!).
Later we took a tour of the hotel and I snapped pictures of the lobby,
the flower arrangements, 
the piano, the gilded ceiling,
and the phone!
And then we took even MORE pictures to remember the day… memories of two best friends celebrating yet another year of life!
Why?
Because that’s what best friends do!
14 Comments
Congratulations on another year of surviving and thriving! Great friends are priceless.
Yes congratulations on another fine year. My son and I had this discussion on Easter. We were invited to go to my brother in law’s house for dinner. He is also a cancer survivor and living with only part of one lung but doing quite well. I was explaining why it was important to do as much with him as possible since his life is so fragile. Right after I said that, I thougt and said to my son; Now that I think of it, our life is just as fragile. We need to think about that every day in all we do.
I do have lots of good friends and my wife and I are best friends.
Okay, Creme Brulee, chocolate cake, and a lovely lunch with your best friend…it doesn’t get much better than that.
Happy, Happy to you both!!!
Hugs!
What a wonderful time together. What a nice friend and prayer partner
Much love,
Susan
FLEA: You’re right…best friends are priceless. After my diagnosis, some friends left me, others I left, but in their place God chose the ones that He knew I needed. I love how God worked that all out!
GREG: I love what you wrote! Facing my own mortality was a true gift in many ways; I share a chapter in the book, “Trading Ashes,” about that. It allowed me to write my passionate to-do list (I guess now they call it the “Bucket List,” but whatever you call it, just do it! I’m glad your friend is doing well (good thing we have two lungs–huh?).
And it doesn’t surprise me that you have a lot of friends–your wife being your best friend. We need more BOOMER DUDES like you on this blog!
CAROLYN: I know…can you believe it? So very yummy! Let me know when you’re free. I have all kinds of places on my “list.” Who says, “There’s no FREE lunch!”
SUSAN: The best part was meeting Lor’s mom and dad afterwards; we spoke in Italian the entire time (talk about a gift!). I fought back tears because I felt like I was “home.” There’s nothing like sitting around the kitchen, drinking coffee with a whole family of Italians…heaven! Can you see me on my knees pressing buttons to get into the restroom? Priceless!
HUGS, HUGS, HUGS!
Oh, I almost forgot…let me know when you’re in the area–PA, DC, DE, NJ, VA, NY (they’re all within driving distance), and we’ll do lunch!
Here’s to the best part of life–LIVING!
HUGS!
Connie
This sounds like so much fun! it’s giving me ideas for my best friend’s celebrations over the years to come now that she is Cancer Free!
I think everyone should have a Celebration of Life Day–even if they’re not cancer survivors. Actually, every day is a celebration (I just don’t go to the Green Room at the DuPont).
By the way, I never figured out why it was called the “Green Room” when everything was orange?! The only thing green was sitting on my plate (smile!).
HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR FRIEND!
Isn’t the green room typically where the important people hang out before the main event? Don’t all TV studios have them for guests while they wait to appear on a show?
You’re absolutely right; now I get it! We aren’t famous or important, but I can tell you we sure felt special. You can tell I haven’t been in any TV green rooms lately (smile!).
HUGS!
Hi Connie!
Congratulations on another wonderful year, and for seizing the opportunity to celebrate with your best friend. What a beautiful hotel…and just how many hours did you spend over lunch? I can hear your fun and laughter as I write. Isn’t God amazing how he brings a special person into your life at just the right time, and called your attention to the “friends” who were not so good for you. She is a lucky woman to have YOU for a friend.
Here’s to loving friends…and sending love to you Connie!
Judy Dippel
author of: The Art of Authentic Friendship: Real Women, Real Challenges, Real Solutions (Release July 2008)
Judy, so great to hear from you! Yes, I love your book (I got a sneak peek!).
You address the parts of friendships with women we like to sweep under the carpet and then provide practical solutions to make those relationships real!
It took me a while to figure out who my “toxic” friends were and once I realized who they were, I was free to put all my energy into the relationships that truly mattered. Mind you, it was NOT easy, and there were some “real challenges,” but there were also “real solutions.”
CONGRATULATIONS, JUDY, ON A MUCH NEEDED RESOURCE FOR ALL WOMEN!
Give all the CelebrateMoms Team a BIG HUG for me; I miss you all!
BIG HUGS!
Connie, youa re good at celebrating the best parts of life. You are wise to take the time. Your life sounds so very pleasant and full of love.
I’m learning to simplify my life (people are more valuable than things!). A lesson learned the hard way!
HUGS!