Here are just a few pics of Ryan’s wedding held on Saturday. The weather was misty and cold, but it was warm and beautiful inside. Ryan cried when he saw his bride and then after literally leaped through the crowd after the ceremony and grabbed me to say, “Mom, I’m married!”. He was so happy. He called me yesterday from his honeymoon. He and Kristin are still on a high. I love that. . .
The pics need no words, and I hope you enjoy them.
Now, on to today’s topic. I think I need a lobotomy. . .
Yesterday Richard and I hiked through the Murrell Indian conservatory. An elegant white home from the early 1900’s sits in the middle of trees surrounded by flowering bushes and draping vines. It is the first home of a great Indian chief and is kept immaculate. It is surrounded by a park and walking trails carved nearly a hundred years ago.
As we hiked I pointed out the budding trees. I laughed at squirrels that followed us, hoping for a treat. I viewed the vines that hung from thick branches. And then I said:
“One day I hope we live here. When you get your Masters and license and start your practice, wouldn’t it be nice if we could stay here instead of moving back.”
Richard stopped. “We do live here, Suz.”
Thunk. Again.
You see, we had a conversation last week about living in the moment. I do live in the moment, but I don’t live in the moment.
I can stop and smell the roses with the best of them. I delight in small things like strawberries dipped in chocolate or the first daffodil pushing through spring soil.
But I see our lives, my career, Richard’s career and schooling as transitional, as what it can be or will be, rather than what it is right now.
And that robs me of enjoying right where I am. It keeps my brain whirling when it should settle down and see what is all around me at the moment.
I didn’t realize that I did this until Richard called me on it. Not in a bad way. But he pointed out that I talked about the house we would build one day that would hold grandkids and a large family–when we’ve lived in a home in Tahlequah for only 5 months.
“Enjoy the house you are in, Suz,” he said, “before you build the next one.”
He gently showed me that I talked about his future family practice when he was only one week into his new job.
“Let’s enjoy together what I’m learning right now.”
It really opened my eyes. And more so, it’s making me rethink the way I think.
I can see the beautiful walking trail. I see the squirrels. I see the water rushing over the craggy rocks as I walk through the Murrell conservatory.
But in the larger picture I can get so wrapped up in my five-year plan that I don’t or can’t simply just “be” right where I am and enjoy the moment.
It’s something I’ve asked God to help me with. It’s a lifelong tendency and something that has just come to light. It explains the restlessness that I battle at times.
Will I get a lobotomy? Maybe not; I hear those are painful!
But have I asked my Heavenly Father to transform my thinking? Absolutely.
18 Comments
Oh, Suzie, I needed to hear that today! Thank you!
Blessings, my friend…
Vonda
http://www.VondaSkelton.com
You are welcome, Vonda. : ) Thanks for stopping by BBR. I appreciate new and old friends. I think that perhaps many writers and speakers, as well as others, may struggle with this same thing. Wouldn’t it be sad to wish our lives away when there are so many opportunities to enjoy the moment all around us?
Suz,
I have the same tendency–to miss the moment, because I’m thinking about what I’m going to do. As a friend of mine used to say, every moment is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.
“Living in the present moment and pursuing your passion.” Preach it sister!
Coming home from Delaware yesterday, I stopped at a rest stop along the turnpike, and had an interesting discussion with an 80-year-old man. He was enjoying his calzone from Sbarro’s while I guzzled down my latte and read e-mails from my laptop. He said, “Do you spend a lot of time on that thing?” He caught me in the moment as I was contemplating my future, “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do!” He said something that changed my life, my future, and what I will be doing for the rest of my life. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and said, “Then just stop it! I bet you haven’t even noticed the buds on the trees or the daffodils just starting to come up.” I put my head down on the table and wept! “Young lady, I didn’t mean to make you cry. My wife’s a writer and she lived behind that ‘box’ for years. She even sold lots of children’s books–some even won awards–but now she spends time with me.”
I sobbed again!
I’m taking a NEW look at my life. It’s hubby’s spiritual birthday today and we’re going for a “WALK to TALK”! I’ll let you know my FUTURE for “living in the present moment.”
Suzie, you have only confirmed what I have felt for the past three months. I asked God to reveal three people in my life to give me direction and you’re NUMBER THREE!
Thank you!
PS The wedding pictures were stunning…they took my breath away!
Thank you, Connie. I love how God works.
Oh, I’m so with you–always seeing the future and missing the moment. Today I was running around with my 3 foster daughters purchasing Easter outfits for them and worrying about how I’m going to parent 3 more kids if their temporary stay with me becomes permanent. ENOUGH. I don’t want to miss one of their silly stories or profound observations. Thanks, Suzie.
PS I gave your book, The Mom I Want to Be, to my foster daughters’ mother. She’s currently incarcerated. We are reading it together and discussing it when I visit her each Thursday. Me thinks you wrote the book just for us. Thank you so much!!!
Oh Carolyn, Thanks so much. If you will send her address to me, I’ll drop her a personal note. Send it to me at tseller@daretobelieve.org.
Suz
I blogged about this whole live in the moment thing on my blog about two months ago: see http://keriwyattkent.blogspot.com/2008/02/extraordinary.html
by the way, my back yard looks the same today as it did in those photos from Feb. we got a big storm today.
altho i really want to enjoy the moment, this particular moment is cold and snowy, and i am ready for spring!!! has ANYONE seen it????
K
Oh! You and Richard are so our opposites. My husband and I frequently have this conversation in reverse. I get awfully wrapped up in the daily, though. So the flip side isn’t necessarily pretty. I forget to dream, to envision.
Connie! How phenomenal our God is! Yay!
Y’all, may I share? My Hunny and I have had an ongoing end time discussion. He’s always been fascinated with eschatology, and I could care less. Part of his frustration with me is my reluctance, sometimes inability, to dream, to think of the future. I’m content in today. He wants me to dream with him, which is understandable, but he also wants me to be wrapped up in end time things.
Here’s what finally hit me the other day: by being wrapped up in the end of the world, the end of our lives, wanting Jesus to come back NOW, I feel selfish. I’m not motivated to live the Great Commission, I’m not loving the people around me, or even paying them much attention. Does that make sense? I can learn and know about what’s coming next, but I can’t get wrapped up in it.
I guess what you’re saying has triggered what I’ve been learning. The balance seems to be that I continue learning and hoping, but don’t let the future rule my thoughts and actions. So thank you, Suzie, Connie. It’s encouraging to see people who hope and dream. It’s frustrating when I don’t. But it’s also great to enjoy the life God has given me now. Not dismissing the present gifts as less then what’s coming, or what I WANT, ya know?
Yes, I’m a little scattered this morning. Sorry. Still working through it myself. You are are so inspiring!
Balance.
That’s exactly the right word, Miss Flea. : )
Keri, It was 70 degrees yesterday. The picture of the daffodils is what I am seeing all around me, as well as budding trees. Come to beautiful Oklahoma. No one does the spring season better! (I’m a bit prejudiced toward the area, though.)
Amen to that! I SO needed to hear your wisdom, thank you! Thanks, too, for the lovely wedding photos. Made me cry.
Hey Allie,
I made you cry last time we talked, too. Hmm. : ) Next time hopefully I’ll make you laugh! Love you, Suz
Well, the sun is out today, and it’s close to 40 so the snow is melting, a little.
spring comes to Chicago, eventually. typically in late April or early may.
My niece is visiting me from CO Springs. Her first comment out of the airport was “OMG”. It was slightly cool after a day of 70 degree weather. She loved it. So do I.
Suzie, thanks for the reminder. And especially thanks for the wedding photos. You must have been beaming that day. Your family sounds like such a tremendous belssing to you and your hubby, as you are to them.
Connie, we have so much to learn from the elderly, don’t we? I am always squeezing in time for my dad, and he has all the time in the world. From the time he gets in the car, he slows me down and it’s all good. As he throws his cane in, I begin with saying “Take your time getting in Dad.”
We need to take OUR time!
Wow, what a great thought provoking post. I find myself living for the weekend and missing out on the other 5 days. I think we all need to slow down and just “Be”. Thanks for the reminder.
Hey Greg, thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your insight. Suz